General Concerns

My fiance is afraid of postpartum. She wants to have a child, but it scares her and since she put her fear in my mind, it has stirred a little of my own. She's BPD, so her moods are unpredictable sometimes. I'm afraid because I've heard of women thinking their baby is demonic, so they murder him/her; some women kill themselves or attempt suicide.. She had tendencies in the past and still has the urge to cut every now and then. It just worries me that if she develops postpartum depression something bad will happen to all of us. Is there any way around it? Or any advice on what to do if she does get it after she has a baby?

I'm not sure why I'm so concerned about it right now; we're not planning for children for another 8-10 years. ._.

Hi, Lame Crusader! Maybe there's something that's triggered your anxiety. Not all women with BPD end up hurting someone and if she gets professional help right after the baby is born, everything will probably be fine. Maybe she won't even have postpartum depression.

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Lame Crusader wrote:My fiance is afraid of postpartum. She wants to have a child, but it scares her and since she put her fear in my mind, it has stirred a little of my own. She's BPD, so her moods are unpredictable sometimes. I'm afraid because I've heard of women thinking their baby is demonic, so they murder him/her; some women kill themselves or attempt suicide.. She had tendencies in the past and still has the urge to cut every now and then. It just worries me that if she develops postpartum depression something bad will happen to all of us. Is there any way around it? Or any advice on what to do if she does get it after she has a baby?

I'm not sure why I'm so concerned about it right now; we're not planning for children for another 8-10 years. ._.

I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder and mixed personality disorder with strong borderline features. My pregnancy was hard, but I managed without meds and didn't self-harm or hurt anyone.

After the baby was born I had a bit of the blues which is normal considering all the sleep deprivation and the hormone fluctuations. But I still managed to get things done and care for the baby.

It wasn't depression that became a problem, it was anxiety. I started to see germs everywhere and refused to leave the house for a while. I made people scrub up to their elbows and wear a smock before they could hold the baby. Even though I should have been resting, I cleaned like a madwoman. It took about 4 months for that to go away but nobody was harmed by it.

Post-partum psychosis (thinking the baby is a demon) is rare. There is no way to tell if your girlfriend will suffer from it ahead of time.

When the time comes and she would like to have children, tell her to check in with a nurse or therapist often. I did this and it relieved a lot of anxiety. She could breeze right through the pregnancy and post-partum period for all we know!