Hello all,
I suffered postpartum psychosis after the birth of my first child. It has been almost 5 months since my episode. The most serious symptoms resolved within 3 weeks of being on meds, but I am currently depressed (taking medication for that) and also experiencing a near-constant feeling of depersonalization/derealization that's constantly got me worried that I will be stuck in this phase forever or that I will revert back into psychosis. It's like I don't trust reality/my mind anymore. I don't have any delusions, I can "function" somewhat in the outside world, take public transport, go grocery shopping, etc. But my main feelings are that I am somehow "dead", walking around in a city I used to live in, and that I am somehow "unstuck" in time, like I can't comprehend what yesterday and tomorrow are, and a deep sense of alienation from myself/my identity. Of course becoming a mother on top of having psychosis was a double-assault on my identity. I'm just wondering if others have felt similarly while recovering from psychosis? It feels so awful, I feel like I will never gat back to "myself", I don't even know what that "self" is anymore.. it's terrifying.