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Stresses

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Stresses

Postby user23621 » Tue Jul 25, 2017 4:47 pm

Gonna be quick. Wasnt duagnosed ith ppd but, have had anxiety after birth 8 months ago. I LOVE MY BABY GIRL. I wanted her so bad. I almost lost her at the beginning of my pregnancy. I am blessed she is healthy and here. I havent been a good mom. When she came home I was making it and just was awed by her. She is my first and gonna be only. Went first month ok. She had colic real bad after. In the beginning it wasnt great still though my husband put alot of stress on me through the pregnancy and after. He stressed alit and was angry at my mom and stepdad still kinda is. He blamed me for there behavior. He has a blaming issue always has. Anyways it wasnt until she was 3 half months I snapped. *mod edit* My husband kept saying I wasnt doing enough. With colic its not easy to keep them quiet. Her sleep has gotten better but, she is in regression right now again. Lack of sleep has been my biggest issue. My husband is old fashioned so I dont have his help all the time besides he works. We dint know people well where we stay. I havent been the same since that day I lost it. I havent told anyone this. She has checked oyt at doctor evertime is great checkup. I love her but, she frustrates me at times. So does my husband.I have a cold at this moment so am miserable. All in all I feel horrible I cant control my furry. I would never want to harm my baby or anyone.
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: small edit
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Re: Stresses

Postby quietgirl2538 » Fri Jul 28, 2017 1:11 pm

*Begin trigger warning*

Sending hugs your way, if wanted. I understand your feelings about having a very colicky baby and how hard it can feel. Please seek help like a sitter who will help take care of the baby while you rest. I paid sitters and also had my niece help me for 2 weeks. I was not diagnosed PPD but I had terrible depression and other things. I think I might have had Post Partum Psychosis because I had hullacinations and heard voices. It was terrible to feel and be that way. I eventually had to seek help as I became suicidal. I was hospitalized and I got rid of the feelings of feeling suicidal and having any type of visual or auditory hallucinations. I loved my baby so much and missed her when I was hospitalized.

*end trigger warning*

Please, I advise you to seek help because you deserve to feel good and enjoy being a mother to your beautiful baby. Do it for you mostly and for your little family. Take care.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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