Our partner

Cptsd?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Terry E.

Cptsd?

Postby Manners73 » Sun Feb 23, 2020 9:05 pm

My memory is all over the place and I see parts of it as if it were a movie.

In this movie its dark and I see a child.

She's got no face. She wears dark clothes and a dark hood..

This child is me but she also feels really separate. She's actually in hell and she's all alone.

I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna go to where she is, take her by the hand and pull her out of hell.

Does this sound like cptsd?

I've been reading a book on recovery and it seems to fit.
England's Glory
User avatar
Manners73
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2227
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:46 pm
Local time: Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Cptsd?

Postby Terry E. » Tue Feb 25, 2020 10:04 am

Could be. CPTSD coming from childhood abuse trauma will express itself differently depending on countless factors. I see similarities at some levels with friends I know, but these are general similarities.
As an example using colours as a guide, I can see others are also " blue" , but we are never actually the same shade, never as bright or as pale.
I can definitely see what you describe.

Can I ask with these memories .. "make you feel" . Do they come on you during periods of "dark" reflection? Is there some feeling that triggers these memories ?

Do you get them lying half awake at night ?

CPTSD though has so many other traits. Go through those and see how many you think you match.

especially hyper vigilance, nightmares, lack of trust, possibly lack of empathy
Terry E.
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 1699
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 2:22 am
Local time: Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: Cptsd?

Postby Manners73 » Tue Feb 25, 2020 6:11 pm

I'm extremely hyper vigilant. Have nightmares and I do lack empathy but I try to have empathy though.

I see her when I'm reminded to think about my past. I know it's me that I'm remembering but it's like a different person and it is really dark. My nightmare is pitch dark as well.

I'm actually getting anxiety to think about it.
England's Glory
User avatar
Manners73
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2227
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:46 pm
Local time: Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Cptsd?

Postby Terry E. » Wed Feb 26, 2020 2:14 am

Well you tick a lot of boxes. If I was you I would go forward thinking it is a very strong possibility and do some research on it.

When I finally found out that was what it was, it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

I stopped trying to be like everyone else and kicking myself when I failed. I realised I was as good as I could be considering what I had been through. Learned to respect myself. Did not make hyper vigilance go away but on the occasions (much less) I felt it happening, I just withdrew a bit realised it would pass, limited social interaction.

By doing that I was then not having to deal with the consequences of my "abnormal " behaviour.

Take care.
Terry E.
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 1699
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 2:22 am
Local time: Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: Cptsd?

Postby Manners73 » Wed Feb 26, 2020 6:25 pm

Than you Terry.

The good thing about this is that it's something that I can work with in order to improve my situation.

I didn't realise that I'm hypervigilant until 2 weeks ago. But since then I've started relaxing more because I understand that that was related to past events and when I'm in a 'safe' environment I don't need to be on my guard all the time.

It's just given me hope really. I've been diagnosed with so many things in my life and if this is what it really is then at least I kno I can get better. Or at least make improvements.
England's Glory
User avatar
Manners73
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2227
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:46 pm
Local time: Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests