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In an abusive married relationship

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In an abusive married relationship

Postby sonika2912 » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:55 pm

I am a 25 year old girl married since 2 years. I am married to a man who is now 29 years old. He has a serious aggressive behavior. He physically and verbally abuses in almost all the fights we have. We have had various horrible fights leading me to several severe injuries. He tries to control it and feels sorry as well, but things are just falling apart instead of improving. The only problem is that we love each other. Not sure about his depth, but I am madly in love that I am accepting all his abuses just to be with him and never gave a hint to my family regarding his behavior since these 2 years.
When he gets angry, he hits me so bad. Throws me on the bed, throws me on the floor, chokes my neck, chokes my face, presses me against the wall, spits on my face, slaps me hard on my face and thigh, kicks me, pinches me and what not.
He used to be sorry until now, but since past couple of fights he has started blaming me for everything and keeps on bringing faults in me and creates a scene out of my small mistakes. I am badly hurt that now he has even started abusing me and counting my mistakes in front of his family on such a level that even his family is making that picture of me in their head. Few recent fights have emptied me from inside believing I have no self esteem and worth.
Today I was just surfing through the web and found out that his symptoms completely match with the symptoms of people suffering from "Intermittent explosive disorder". Now, I am very worried as to what is to be done. I can't leave him with this disorder nor can I live with him.
I don't know what to do. Many times I have thought of leaving him, but just the word called "LOVE" doesn't let me do so.
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Re: In an abusive married relationship

Postby InquisitivePursuer » Thu Oct 12, 2017 3:06 pm

I don't know what to do. Many times I have thought of leaving him, but just the word called "LOVE" doesn't let me do so.


Love?
Is this Love?

What does love actually mean to you, if you would be willing to define that for us,
for your self?
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Re: In an abusive married relationship

Postby Terry E. » Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:30 pm

You are in real trouble so this is not going to be too warm and fuzzy. My other hobby apart from hanging around here is chronicling Australian child abuse deaths.


It is not intermittent explosive disorder. We had a young man kill his father and step-mother last year and in that case it was. He was totally out of control. Not mean or nasty, he even helped someone when stealing their car, but the anger part aimed at his abusers made him loose all control and throw away his life. Killed them both with a knife while carefully making sure his step brother and step sister were okay.

Your guy knows exactly what he is doing. It is a pattern that I read here often. It breaks down the victim until they self esteem is so low that they accept the abuse as a substitute for love.

Someone must have a online textbook for this as the stories seem so much the same.

You have to leave, or it gets worse.

I will bet anything he will beat and BREAK your children.

Will he rape your daughters ... maybe, maybe not. If he did, will you still love him that much you will ignore it. Will you blame your daughters. Read it here, the mothers often do.

How much do you think you can take for this love you talk, about. Charliz Theron's mum thought she could until her husband took a gun into Charliz room when she was a teenager. Her mum then killed him.

He doesn't even do it when drunk.

If you still think that his love is worth it, please get your tubes tied now, before the inevitable happens.

I am sorry but you deserve more than this.
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Re: In an abusive married relationship

Postby LaraAndSimon » Sun Oct 15, 2017 9:23 pm

Run, girl, run. As fast as you can. PLEASE!!!
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Re: In an abusive married relationship

Postby Holodeck » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:10 pm

Get out. He doesn't love you. He's manipulating you. If you don't have anyone who can help you, try to try to find a women's shelter in your area. Agreeing with the others that this isn't Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Don't give him a chance to lie or hurt you again. Leave asap.
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Re: In an abusive married relationship

Postby bettyboo10 » Mon Jan 21, 2019 9:47 am

Please leave they situation as this is not love
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Re: In an abusive married relationship

Postby NewSunRising » Sun Feb 03, 2019 12:23 am

The person you love is not the person you are living with . He's not going to get better because you're staying there to be abused . You can't fix this with love and the price you pay for trying may very well be your life .

In the worst case scenario , you'll end up dead and he'll be very sorry about it . Get out now .
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