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Honeymoon stage did not last long at all

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Honeymoon stage did not last long at all

Postby klutzy » Sat Oct 31, 2015 11:20 pm

I had a whole story typed out, but decided to delete it and get straight to the point. We're 29. Been married since October 2014. We separated 6 weeks ago after he head-butted me and went to go slap me (actually got me a little bit too) and the next morning he was not apologetic, went to go head-butt me and said "i'll kick your ass again". I told my parents and they kicked him out and my mom moved in to make sure he didn't come around.

He couldn't believe he finally got kicked out. He has progressively gotten worse up to that point. He's always been verbally abusing me. Started calling me names, then it progressed to spitting on me and then this happened. I feel sorry because I had a bond with his 7 year old son and I really do love his family. However, my husband has plenty of issues. He stopped drinking after this happened. Majority of his rages were when he drank. He says he doesn't like Alcoholics Anonymous as he went to one meeting before and said it is too cult like. He also started Anger Management.

My husband says there is no excuse for what he did. He is not blaming me, calls himself an abuser and says he wants to change. However, he still cannot control his anger. Anytime we talk there is an argument. He is the type to rage, call me names, and act like nothing happened the next day. Occasionally I'll get the apology. I don't know how much longer I can take of this. My mom and sisters said to divorce him as soon as I told them what happened. My dad can't stand to see him, however, he still hopes I can work it out. Of course his family wants me to take him back.

There's a lot more to our story. A lot more negatives than positives to him. I should work it out but why invest all this time to someone who clearly does not respect me. I know there are people out there that will treat me like a queen. If I never got married, this would have been an easy choice. to walk away from. But I can't let go of my marriage just yet.
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Re: Honeymoon stage did not last long at all

Postby Terry E. » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:48 am

I think you know what to do. Takes time to mentally move on.

I think one day, in the future when you are married with children, you will look back and see you dodged a bullet.

Once children arrive, it is very hard.

I also feel for his son. ... but no much you can do alone, his own family is in a position to do more.
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Re: Honeymoon stage did not last long at all

Postby waiting4tomorrow » Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:09 am

I'm a guy and I can't imagine...look if a guy attempts to hit you, if a guy even curses at you...that's it. It is so easy to rationalize- I pushed his buttons, he had a hard day, he didn't mean it. But none of that matters. Because if he even has that IN him, if he has it in him to do anything like that, then he could at any time. A guy shouldn't even have that in him.
If you are with a guy like that, he is not loving you. He may think he is, but he's not. And if you stay with him and put up with that kind of behavior, then you're not loving you, either. So you're not loving you and he's not loving you. Why stay? You deserve someone who loves you but also has self control and patience and respect for you.
Don't ever settle.
If you're not in a relationship you may feel lonely, but...you'll feel even lonelier if you're with the wrong person.
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