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My son and I, trauma, and the future

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My son and I, trauma, and the future

Postby Rap123 » Sun Oct 17, 2021 9:24 am

My son and I are very close. As a result, I am worried about him if anything happened to me. I am 49 and he is 10. His mother gets visitation and her past 1actions are what caused he and I to value each other so much. She never had any connection with him. From day one, I was the present and nurturing parent. She left when he was almost 2 and dissapeared for two years. During that time, our son thrived and life was great. His mom popped back into our lives lying to the court and took him away. It took me two weeks to see him and he was a shell of the happy boy I knew. It took me three days to get him back towards his previous happy, engaging self. Over the years since, she has pulled other stunts which took him away from me. I always found him and in time, like before, he adjust back to being himself. The court ended up giving her joint custody which was shocking to say the least. She has never given him a bath, nor made sure he brushed his teeth. She did put video games in front of him to keep him occupied though. Now she has a little girl which she is trying to place the parenting of upon our son. Back on topic, due to his mother's actions over the years which led to our sudden separation, he is rather attached to me. It only bothers me because I worry for his development as an individual and his future as an adult and when I am gone. Before his first abduction, he slept in his own room. Ever since, he has slept in my bed despite having his own room and hes going to be 11 soon. Again, this does not bother me except for knowing that he still has issue from what's happened in the past. When I bring up him sleeping in his room it's like "why would I want to do that?". He acts like everything is fine and this is just how he prefers it. His behavior is better than others his age and he is at the top of his class. I know that despite all appearances, he still has trauma. I admittedly carry the burden of trauma from what we've been through too. I dont have much faith in getting help because I thought the court would help us but I was sourly mistaken. I still want us to heal from it all but dont know to where to turn. Trust is only one issue the other is cost. I guess I'm asking if there are any other ways to help us recover from the trauma and towards a healthy attachment? I especially want him to be as "ok" as possible if something were to happen to me as I recently have had health issues that are unresolved and potentially serious.
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