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turning into my father

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turning into my father

Postby helpimapedo » Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:03 am

Im 32 yrs old, when my son was born it was literally the greatest day of my life, almost a year ago the baby's mother and i split for good after 2 and a half years of honestly trying to make things work with her. I was miserable the whole time we were together. Around thanksgiving last year she told me after i had car problems and couldnt get out to see him that i was not to see him. I was infuriated i cursed her up and down. I stopped giving her money because i didnt think she was using the $100 a wk i had been giving her on him. At first i was so mad at her i couldnt bear to see her. Now i am ashamed that i have turned into my sperm donor of a father,who split when i was 6 mths old,i swore i would never do this now here i am almost a year later and have not seen the one true joy in my miserable life. Im so afraid he has forgotten me i dont know how to go about this,and really need advice and guidance
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Re: turning into my father

Postby cpsp4207 » Sat Sep 21, 2013 7:27 am

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
I cannot give any ideas for your mental state, however I can suggest that you get a lawyer.
You have not made clear whether you were married to this woman or not, so only you would know if a visitation/support schedule is already in place.
Being this child's father, you have RIGHTS to see him. And she absolutely cannot just say "you can't". Parental rights are the hardest thing to take away. And if she is not allowing you to see him, you take her to court. Get a visitation and support schedule set up. Then, when she still denies you access, you call the police.

Forget your feelings about her. None of that matters. I fought for 8 years for my daughter's bio-dad's rights to be taken away from him, and the only way I finally got it taken care of was his voluntary removal of them via the court system. Before he voluntarily signed his rights over, there was NOTHING I could do to keep him from her. For me, he never actually wanted to see her, but he could have had he pursued it.

It doesn't sound like you have a visitation schedule or child support set up. You should really get these into place.

Contact her and tell her you want your visitation. See if she will set up times and dates. If not, get a lawyer. This is your child too. You are CHOOSING not to see him by not trying.
And if you're afraid he's forgotten you, take it slow. Spend small amounts of time with him in the beginning so you can get to know each other. Assure him that you will take him back to his mother after you spend some time together. He will need to learn to trust you.

Good luck!
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Re: turning into my father

Postby Cate68 » Thu Oct 03, 2013 1:10 pm

Fight for parental rights. I didn't. I regret it now.
One of the greatest blasphemies is the taking of one's freedom of thought, dictating matters of the heart and the theft of another's personal peace.

Everyday I live is an act of rebellion.

Maverick-a dissenter, an artist
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