Our partner

Kids sleeping in parents bed

Parenting message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby Konran » Sat Jul 13, 2013 8:57 am

How do people approach this when the child is doing it to frequently and they are maybe getting a bit old for it.I must stipulate I''m not the parent but a relative of the parent.Why do children do this,I mean I have my suspicions but rather hear from a experienced parent who has maybe had to deal with this.

The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child(with the parents permission of course).
Konran
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 13, 2013 8:27 am
Local time: Thu Dec 02, 2021 11:04 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby Platypus » Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:53 am

Are you referring to a child sneaking into the parents' bed after they've been put to bed elsewhere? Or children and parents sleeping together in a bed by mutual agreement?

Konran wrote:The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child

I'm having trouble understanding why it couldn't be handled by the parent(s) in question.
No diagnosis, lots of opinions, and a bunch of issues that I haven't quite figured out.
Platypus
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6868
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:26 am
Local time: Fri Dec 03, 2021 9:04 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby Tempest88 » Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:07 am

Konran wrote:The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child(with the parents permission of course).


If the parent(s) want it dealt with... they will deal with it. Why does it bother you?

Konran wrote:How do people approach this when the child is doing it to frequently and they are maybe getting a bit old for it.


To frequently for who? Why would age matter? Do children's emotional needs stop once they hit a certain age?

Konran wrote:Why do children do this,I mean I have my suspicions but rather hear from a experienced parent who has maybe had to deal with this.


My kids are 9 - 11 and they both still sleep with me at times. They feel more secure. Many kids are uncomfortable alone at night, it's very common and normal in childhood.
Tempest88
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6342
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:51 am
Local time: Thu Dec 02, 2021 3:04 pm
Blog: View Blog (35)

Re: Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby redsaturday » Thu Jul 18, 2013 3:19 pm

My 4 and 5 year olds sneak in with us. So frustrating! We try and get them to sleep on the floor beside us, but they (especially my daughter) sneak in sometime in the night.

I wouldn't be concerned except that I like the room!
redsaturday
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 7:24 pm
Local time: Thu Dec 02, 2021 6:04 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby Konran » Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:01 pm

Tempest88 wrote:
Konran wrote:The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child(with the parents permission of course).


If the parent(s) want it dealt with... they will deal with it. Why does it bother you?

Konran wrote:How do people approach this when the child is doing it to frequently and they are maybe getting a bit old for it.


To frequently for who? Why would age matter? Do children's emotional needs stop once they hit a certain age?

Konran wrote:Why do children do this,I mean I have my suspicions but rather hear from a experienced parent who has maybe had to deal with this.


My kids are 9 - 11 and they both still sleep with me at times. They feel more secure. Many kids are uncomfortable alone at night, it's very common and normal in childhood.


Sorry I didn't want to put to much across but I realise it's caused confusion.We are talking a single parent who is my a sister mother of a 15 year old boy,soon to be 16.Maybe that puts it in better perspective.Also my sister tend to confide in me even on matters I likely no less about than her.I'm not likely to say anything to my nephew about it anyway,I just wanted a perspective on it in reality.It's my sister that is concerned.There is more to it (my nephew is going through a rough patch but it is being sorted) but I don't want to say any more.
Konran
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 13, 2013 8:27 am
Local time: Thu Dec 02, 2021 11:04 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby Tempest88 » Tue Aug 20, 2013 8:46 am

Saying 'teen' instead of 'child' would have given a more accurate picture.
Tempest88
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6342
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:51 am
Local time: Thu Dec 02, 2021 3:04 pm
Blog: View Blog (35)

Re: Kids sleeping in parents bed

Postby HesDeltanCaptain » Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:53 pm

Recall when little and going to sleep with my Mom n Dad in their bed was out of a fear of the night and also of being alone. Very reassuring having your two parental figures there with you. As I got older, I switched to sleeping with our dogs n cats but probably for much the same reasons.

As a historical footnote, pioneering families frequently all slept in one giant bed. Probably mostly out of warmth before indoor heating n such but possibly also for comraderie n whatnot. Even newly married younglings would sleep with their betrothed in the same bed as their younger sibs and parents and grandparents.

We see similar behaviours in other primates and animals when they all sleep together for similar reasons. Newborn puppies and kitties too all lie all over one another while slumbering.

I wouldn't have any objection to it, or counsel anyone to deliberately end it regardless of a child's age. Let it end gradually as the kids stop trying to climb in on their own like. I'd actually be more concerned with a parent's deliberate attempt to end the behaviour abruptly as it'd probably scar the kid somehow being interpreted as rejection or denial. Whereas if you let it run its course and the kid stops it on their own it's stopping simply because the kid gets older and wants more independence and/or to demonstrate their increasing maturity.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I pretended to be." - Me.
HesDeltanCaptain
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1221
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:19 am
Local time: Thu Dec 02, 2021 6:04 pm
Blog: View Blog (10)


Return to Parenting Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests