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I am a pedophile and love boys

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I am a pedophile and love boys

Postby henrygmx » Sun May 11, 2014 4:55 pm

I am a 33 year-old male. Ever since I was 12, I knew I had an attraction to boys ages 7-12. I never acted on my attraction because I was never around boys. I think that is why it took me so long to realize that I am a pedophile. For the longest time, I thought I was gay which was weird because I had a few same-sex experiences and did not enjoy it. I am neither attracted to men nor women; just boys.
While I continue to jumpstart my career, I have found limited job opportunities. For reasons outside of being a pedophile, I started working with boys. I just adore them. They fill that empty void in me. I have not acted out on my attractions because once I get to know a boy personally, I am not attracted to him anymore. I almost see him as my own kid and that kills the attraction. I am not sure why that is. However, I am very attracted to boys that I don't really know or other men who loves boys too. It's a vicious cycle. I do feel like I am living a lie and the general population is ignorant about pedophilia. They think they know me better than I know myself but they do not. They want to believe and feel what makes them feel safe and good. For example, I know this one guy who is very friendly to mothers with young girls. The mothers adore him and would never think he was a pedophile. But I know he is.
It takes one to know one and there are many of us out there. I think some are more disciplined than others.
Really what I wanted to say is that even though I am attracted to boys, I have my boundaries. I will not rape a kid but I will not turn a boy away if he wants to cuddle with me either. For me, leaving behind memories of affection is the most important thing. When my boys become college-aged, I want them to remember back at the times when they were 7-12 and we cuddled together and how good it felt and how fun it was.
I wish I could 'fix' myself or could do more to change my situation but I can't. I refuse to live my life as a hermit because I was born this way. I even sought out help from psychologists and they declined to treat me (later found out they don't accept pedophile patients unless they are sex offenders). They can't even tell me why I am the way that I am. They can't tell me why I get a high being around boys.
Finally, as weird as this sounds, I am very judgmental towards pedophilies who are attracted to girls or girls and boys. I have met a few and they are creepy and gross. They have far deeper problems than being a pedophile. Most boylovers such as myself, find it easier to blend in and appear normal.
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Re: I am a pedophile and love boys

Postby crazyinsatiable1 » Mon May 12, 2014 3:45 am

I'm sorry you were turned away by psychologists. The more I read here the more it seems there is a massive unfulfilled need for professionals who are willing to work with individuals with paraphilias and maintain confidentiality. I'm quite shocked by the stories I've read here about "professionals" committing ethical violations! I believe anyone who wants help should be able to get it.
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Re: I am a pedophile and love boys

Postby matthewuk » Tue May 13, 2014 12:08 am

Welcome to the forum. I sympathise with how you feel, I do believe myself that the vast majority of 'pedophiles' feel as you do, after all, the word does mean 'child lover' not child abuser. I know from personal experience as a boy that some boys do welcome personal, even intimate contact with a kind and loving older man. I'm sure any that do seek such contact would be safe with a guy such as yourself.
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Re: I am a pedophile and love boys

Postby HowardCL » Tue May 13, 2014 9:55 pm

Welcome to the forum and as you are I am a Pedophile and I am mainly attracted to young boys and most likely I am one of those grosse Pedophiles that you want to stay away from because I have been selfish an have acted on my desires for boys and I have also served time for those actions as well, its not something that I am proud of but it has been done and I cannot change the past so I might as well live for the future.

The thing that I have seen amongst Pedophiles and so called Boylovers is that each side always thinks they are better than the other because of just a label when in fact they are the same, yet that is just my opinion. I hope that you can live you entire life without acting out with a young child and if you can do that then I salute you and have the most respect for you. Those type of pedophiles are my heros, not the ones like me that have been weak and crossed the lines of lusts and desires.

Anyway welcome to the forum and enjoy your time here.
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Re: I am a pedophile and love boys

Postby Gemini_Incarnate » Thu May 15, 2014 2:37 am

Hello, I am a 16 year old pedophile (non-exclusive). I must warn you, however, that I am a girl-lover, so if that offends you as much as you say it does, I would simply like to apologize in advance for posting here and ask that you please not judge me. I'm very sensitive to criticism. :(

Anyway, I just wanted to personally welcome you to Psychforums. If you would like to talk to another pedophile, I'm here and happy to talk. :)

So your attraction actually decreases as you get to know them? Strange; I've always had the opposite problem. I'm scared to be near them because of it. :|

Well, that's all. Enjoy your stay on Psychforums. :)

Levi [INFP]
*Meow* ^^
Aaron [ESTP]
"Live and let live, lest bigotry be the death of us all."
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