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Confused and depressed I think

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Confused and depressed I think

Postby Alice1973 » Mon Dec 07, 2015 8:15 pm

I was married for 14 years. I had an affair that after 10 years of marriage that lasted 2 months. I was really unhappy in my marriage and also torn from guilt about the affair. The marriage lasted 4 more years and I had to end it. I always felt emotionally alone throughout the marriage. I felt like I couldn't talk to my partner and he was extremely conttolling.

Moving along I met someone else. He is really good with me. My problem is trusting him. He hasn't given me a reason. I am afraid and not even sure if what. I love him to death and I know he loves me equally. I constantly miss him but am also afraid that one day when we decide to live with each other things will change like they did in my marriage. I have 3 kids and my boyfriend and I see each other ever other weekend when my kids are with their dad. I love every minute I spend with him. I get depressed when it is time for him to go. We also meet on the weekend I have the kids and he has his daughter but I get so much anxiety from my kids hoping that they're showing good manners.
Not sure what is wrong with me. I am now 42 and think it might be hormonal.

Last night I got into an argument with him about something ridiculous. He was alittle drunk on the phone but kept telling me how happy he was with me and how much he loves me. My answer was that felt like I never knew what was going on in his head. He is an extremely smart man. I can tell he had a lot of sexual experience and relationships. I on the other hand 1 10 year relationship and then my 14 year marriage. We've been with each other for 1.5 years. I couldn't take it if I lost him but j feel like I am messing everything up.

The continuation from last nights argument was that he was playing poker online and he said call me an hour later. As promised he did call me an hour later and we continue talking. I guess mother on the phone he was still playing poker which is not a problem. He kept telling me real love me how much I am so happy I was in his life. My response to him was I love them too but I just wish I knew was going on in his head sometimes feel like he really experienced it's all over the place with his interests and it scares me. I'm not sure if I am menopausal are just afraid and I don't really know what to do.

I had to take off work today because I was so hap I love them too but I just wish I knew was going on in his head sometimes feel like he really experienced it's all over the place with his interests and it scares me. I'm not sure if I am menopausal are just afraid and I don't really know what to do. I had to take off work today because I was so upset about our argument. But like I have so much pressure on me being a single mom with three kids. Where were you going to he's going to leave lea upset about our argument. But like I have so much pressure on me being a single mom with three kids. Where were you going to he's going to leave. I am so tired afraid and worried and stressed .
Alice1973
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