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Having Weird Visions, what is going on?

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Having Weird Visions, what is going on?

Postby OCDfanatic22 » Sat Nov 28, 2015 5:40 pm

Hi everyone my name is Jake and I've posted on here before about another Anxiety/Panic episode I was going through about Relationship OCD; the amount of responses and support I got was beyond my expectation and I couldn't have been more appreciative. I'm going to try to make this short and to the point, I am 19 years old, I've had anxiety/panic attacks ever since I was 9 and I've also been diagnosed with OCD. This bout of anxiety all started last night but before last night I've always had a fear of having schizophrenia; last night my friends and I were hanging out talking about a comedian and how bad he was, one of my friends suggested I'd rather jump off the boat (the comedian was on a cruise line) then watch him. After my friend said that I had a vision of me jumping off the boat and getting ripped up by the boats engine, I imagined it but in that moment so how it scared me to the part I started panicking thinking stuff like "what if that was me" or "what if that is me and my whole life now is just a dream and in being tortured". I recently had a fear of my whole life being a dream but this vision I had is scaring me to no end, I'm terrified of it and I'm terrified it's a sign I am becoming a schizophrenic by thinking that it's happening to me and I'm imagining my life. Can someone PLEASE give me some insight into what is going on with me? Am I becoming schizophrenic? I'm in tears.
-Jake
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Re: Having Weird Visions, what is going on?

Postby Auxiliary11 » Tue Dec 01, 2015 8:04 pm

OCDfanatic22 wrote: After my friend said that I had a vision of me jumping off the boat and getting ripped up by the boats engine, I imagined it but in that moment so how it scared me to the part I started panicking thinking stuff like "what if that was me" or "what if that is me and my whole life now is just a dream and in being tortured". I recently had a fear of my whole life being a dream but this vision I had is scaring me to no end, I'm terrified of it and I'm terrified it's a sign I am becoming a schizophrenic by thinking that it's happening to me and I'm imagining my life. Can someone PLEASE give me some insight into what is going on with me? Am I becoming schizophrenic? I'm in tears.
-Jake


Sounds like an intrusive thought to me, which as I understand it are common in OCD. I sometimes get (violent) intrusive thoughts myself although they're usually about 'cute things' like pets, they're disturbing thoughts and so I can see where you coming from about being scared by them.

As for the dream part... schizophrenics do have these thoughts as far as I'm aware, but with that said I don't think these thoughts are exclusive to schizophrenia. There is a psychiatric condition called Depersonalization Disorder which can cause sufferers to feel that there life is a dream, due to the depersonalization ("a state in which one's thoughts and feelings seem unreal or not to belong to oneself") and/or derealization ("a feeling that one's surroundings are not real, especially as a symptom of mental disturbance").

It's also worth noting that you can have DP/DR due to anxiety, and given that you suffer from anxiety/panic it's probable that the reason behind why you feel 'like your living a dream' is due to the DP/DR, and not necessarily because you could be turning schizophrenic. Also ruminating on the fear of becoming a schizophrenic has zero effect on your risk of developing it, it just doesn't work that way.

So... I'd say this is all due to OCD's intrusive thoughts and DP/DR caused by anxiety. Although I'm no professional so I can't say for sure.

Best wishes.
self dx. pdd-nos (level 1); covert narcissism w/ avoidant traits; social phobia; inertia.

INFP; dismissive/fearful-avoidant & highly sensitive person

"Life, a sexually transmitted, terminal disease."
"you built up a world of magic, because your real life is tragic"
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Re: Having Weird Visions, what is going on?

Postby Maya01 » Fri Feb 26, 2016 8:13 am

i think Auxiliary 11 made very clever comments. i think that the panic disorder can even cause negative intrusive thoughts at some point and even depersonalization in some cases and for certain moments, probably when the person is at most distress.
One good advice i could suggest is try not to overanalize and not give more power to your fear of being scyzophrenic since your symptoms can be explained by ocd or panic itself, so do not distress yourself more thinking about you have something else additionally. Try to do a hobby, something that help you focuss your thoughts away from negative recurrent thoughts.

And obviosuly, i would suggest you follow yor doctor advise and course of treatment, assuming you are following a current therapy or treatment. Nothing can replace the expert doctor advice. This forums are support groups but you should alway co sult your doctor.
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