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ODD and hearing impairment

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ODD and hearing impairment

Postby wilf2003 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:33 am

My 21 year-old stepson to whom I have been "dad" for the past ten years is deaf. His mother died two months ago. While the three of us were together the third party acted as a buffer at times of intense anger between the first two parties. These anger episodes derive from his deafness and the intense relationship between mother and son during his first ten years, his biological father leaving for undisclosed reasons before he was born. In many respects my role has been one of dissipating negative emotion like the mother's new boyfriend in the Man Without A Face, but I have my own issues which have borne upon our domestic life.

My son had significant anger issues prior to his mother becoming untreatably ill. Her year-long illness and death involve tremendous anger issues coming on top of the previous 19 years of his life. I am not coping well - the fact that he cannot hear means that he can turn his face away and cease communicating whereas with normal people a voice may still work. In other words we talk only when he wants to. But there is a further complication. He is turning more and more to the unreal world of the internet on his mobile phone - again able to communicate only when he chooses to without ever meeting many of his "friends". His social world of actual contact is shrinking. Sometime we resort to Messenger - while we are both at home. The phone has been of incredible assistance in the late development of his reading and writing skills, and he is very intelligent if not savvy socially.

I am at the point of admitting that I too need help and support. We live in an Asian country where psych services are non-existent.

The core issue is ODD which I understand to occur more frequently in deaf youth in particular. I see ODD as anger directed to hurt significant people in one's life. Confrontation just for the hell of it - and it is making life hell. Is there anyone who can share?
wilf2003
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