failedatlife's Journal (Replies Welcome)

I know and I apologize if my posts are inconvenient. I just want a place that I can freely vent when I'm not seeing my therapist because it's exhausting to live with such thoughts and having them attack you constantly.

P.S.: I do hope what you said it's true because my experience shows me that when I keep such thoughts to myself, they happen, e.g., if I had kept to myself all that about the creepy coworker, I wouldn't been here writing this (and I still fear those days would be my last working ones in my life, but maybe I just have to accept it and die )

I am having a day off from work tomorrow and I plan to spend it home, as it will be cold and it will rain, I only fear I will suddenly have a heart attack and will die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I also hope I live through the night because I fear I will get the heart attack this night and will die and that would happen despite that I write about it here.

I just had a deja vu that the day it's cold enough for me to change into my winter clothes I will have a heart attack and die and that would happen despite that I write about it here.

As I hear recently so many news about people that disappear I fear some day I may get kidnapped or lost and never come back and die and I fear that would happen despite that I write about it here.