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Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby lilyfairy » Mon Oct 25, 2021 11:27 am

Replies welcome.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

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Whatever you're doing today, do it with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman t-shirt.
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Mon Oct 25, 2021 4:07 pm

I feel so sick, it's like I'm turning into rock, I feel weak and tired, my stomach and chest hurts a lot, I can't eat and I'm nauseated, I'm not being able to go to classes anymore and I had to cancel my presentation because I've being losing practice, this makes me even more sad and hopeless. I suppose I should think more about the time I had enjoying the classes instead of accomplishments. At least I can curly up in a ball and go back working on my portfolio I guess... I'll check if I can practice some other time during the week, since training is good for my health and mood...
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Wed Oct 27, 2021 12:11 am

I'm almost finishing a piece for my portfolio, I'm remaking a drawing from last month and I can't believe how much I improved, I'm very happy with how this is turning out, also can't wait to get feedback from colleagues. I also got a client today from a store, she said she loved my work and we're going to work together now, this is also the kind of experience I've being wanting to put on my resume, I'm very happy that life seems to be going somewhere little by little!

I'm afraid something bad will happen and I won't be able to recover though, but luck me have great friends that manage to help me go through these times...

Tomorrow I'll go settle a time for practice this week so I can still try doing that presentation, I feel weak but I'm really confident I can do it.
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Thu Nov 04, 2021 3:03 pm

I'm feeling worse, I got very sick these days and spend I think 2 or 3 days in bed, I feel I can barely move, there's so much to do in the house, things to study to build my portfolio, I don't think I'll do that presentation this Monday. I feel really bad for being who I am, I think I need help and comprehension from my family but unfortunately I can't have this from them. Maybe I could talk to a doctor of mine and ask the doctor to talk to them instead, I have an appointment next week... I just need more time than most people to do things I think...

Self-care is the first thing I sacrifice, I need to take care of my pets, clean the house and keep on building the portfolio so I can get a job at home hopefully, and since I don't care about my life is easy to sacrifice self-care. The second thing I "sacrifice" is house cleaning, since I get so slow I can't do all the activities for the day. I spend these days wanting to stop feeling sick and be able to get up and now I just want to go back to bed. :(

Well, I'm not dizzy, nauseated or in pain at the moment so there's that, today I just need to wash at least half the dishes and have lunch, and clean my pet's stuff, I'll check for the remaining activities later...
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Fri Nov 05, 2021 9:56 pm

Today is pet in the back day.
I managed to go train, tie that stupid knot, fix my presentation and learn two new movements to fix the gaps. If anyone reading this is interested, I do the aerial hoops. I'm kinda trying to be a circus artist cause why not.
I freaking nail it cause I freaking rock. That thing is hard. I'm gonna get myself a milkshake.

Also, I was kinda mad cause since the teacher told us we would have to do a presentation I hopped on that thing and tried to clean all the moves I knew, next class I had a number done, next class I found a song to go with it, the thing is, more people were going to do the presentation with me, but they took to long to do anything, come up with numbers, practice, read my messages about the song, change their mind about it later, bla bla, in the end I had to redo my number, and I freaking did it today, presentation is next Monday. Good luck to us. They are really cool people and I need to be a tad bit more patient with other people's ways.

Also I love my friends.

Oh right, yesterday my grandmother called super worried about my health since she saw me in a videocall, she wants me to move him with her so she can feed me better, lol grandmas am I right? Anyway I'm feeling kinda loved.

Oh and I'm a monster lover, which means I love monsters more than your usual person, recently while trying to discover more... Monster appreciation content, I decided to give a chance to ASMR monster videos and I have no regrets. I hated ASMR sounds, but those are fun and I'm so happy and dumb. Can't wait to see what's the next thing I dislike that I may end up loving, and can't also wait to discover more monster appreciation stuff in the world.

I also contacted a client that was a few days without giving feedback and she said she is still interested, just busy, and apologized, very kind of her. Happy to know I still got that job <3
I don't know if I mentioned but I'm also trying to work as an illustrator. Kinda bugs me not giving more info about that, lel, but oh well, despite putting bits of my life here I still have to not be recognized.

Ok enough, I have stuff to do.
(But I'll probably just ignore it and go nap)
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Tue Nov 09, 2021 3:43 am

In the end one of my colleagues said she hurt herself this weekend and couldn't do the presentation, the teacher only announced my name so I looked at my other colleague who was close to the radio and she sat down and made a hand gesture that I should start. I DID THE THING ALONE. I'm pretty happy that I was able to do it and everything turn out fine. This colleague said she didn't know what to do when the teacher didn't announcer her too, she did her presentation by herself too afterwards, the same one she had done the weekend I believe.

Anyway I'm quite happy with all of this. They'll even be opening the place for us to keep training. Before we couldn't because it was restricted to professionals and we needed a portfolio or something, but now we can! Yay!

TW: sexual content
This sexual dysfunction and not being able to fulfill my fetishes is kinda killing me. They seem to be so specific I can't believe I'm having a hard time finding content and participants. Grr.

Also I'm holding myself up not to spend money I don't have. I'll give myself a day to buy things and see if it helps. First day will be around February.
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Sat Nov 13, 2021 12:37 am

Someone from Cirque Du Soleil started following me on Instagram, WHAT AN HONOUR!!

Also an artist I like showed a drawing of mine on a YouTube live :D
(He selects a few drawings to make some corrections and teach some things).

So many exciting things!
I also found some very cheap teachers from classes I want to take and I got a client yesterday. I'll go back focusing on commissions again, only a few per month could already make me a very good amount of money :')

I decided to start a journal here because I was very down a while ago, very sick and hopeless, but things are changing for good so suddenly. I love that I can give myself some credit for these changes too, now I have to think that the less time I spend in bed is more time to make good things out of my life, is good being hopeful again :)
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Fri Nov 19, 2021 12:18 am

Tangled's mother Gothel is horrifying, hits too close to home.

I'm trying to learn guitar again, good for me.
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Thu Nov 25, 2021 12:26 am

My money is getting over and I'm not getting any jobs, reality is coming back. I'm sick again, just a stupid cold. Gotta look for more jobs quickly. Lately I'm a bit anxious about how slow I'm being. Can't let other people know I'm having issues with money because I really want to focus on the freelancing thing. I guess that's it for now.
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Re: Orome's Journal- Replies Welcome

Postby Orome » Mon Nov 29, 2021 6:20 pm

Oh my god I feel so sick, I went to the doctor today finally, let's see if I can fix this up
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