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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:52 pm

Thank you, I think she will be a big help.
I think my older sister just didn't see an eating disorder as a mental illness, i gave her some information on it and she apologised for her reaction and said she will help any way she can. She has a few mental health problems herself so i don't think she meant to be insensitive.

I had a great day today :D I wanted to binge but i was able to speak to a friend to distract myself and the urge went away! Then i had a little bit of low fat yogurt and kept it down. That was the first time i've ever even noticed the urge, i usually don't realise what i've done untill after. I did binge later and couldn't stop it but once is a start. :mrgreen:
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:47 pm

My good mood didn't last long, as usual. Never get more then one day. And the day after is always really bad, makes me wonder is the good day worth it!
I've been trying to write this all day but i can't get the words straight in my head.

I'm not going to give up tho, i want to believe it can get better
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:22 pm

I'm feeling a little better today. Still down but not half as bad as yday. That was one of the worst days i've had! It actually scared me. I'm going to see if i can get my GP appt moved forward.

Work was ok although i did have to lie to my boss about why i collapsed.

I've been smoking all week which is annoying me since i stopped in june! I'm going to get some more patches and get back on track before it gets too hard.

I have an appt at the ED place tomorrow. I think i've been doing ok. I'm not liking my body or weight atm but i am still trying hard with the plan.
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Tue Nov 27, 2012 6:45 am

Hi honey

Sorry I have been not that much online and have not had a chance to reply to you for a while. It sounds like you are trying really hard so that is great. But please take good care of yourself as physically things dont seem too good. I hope that your appt goes well - keep me posted

HUge hugs

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:34 pm

Hey,

I hope you're ok after your appt today, I saw your post. Thats awful. It's disgusting how some people are treated by doctors! I'm sorry that happened.

I had to see the nurse yday to get blood taken. I had to have an ECG done because my heart rate was too fast. She thinks it was just too much caffeine. She did my height and weight and i'm almost 3 inches shorter than i was a few years ago! Which made my bmi jump up! I flipped. I couldn't even talk to anyone. I couldn't face it. I had a horrible day but i'm a little better today. I had a pamper day with my daughter and it did help.

hugs to you
willow
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Thu Nov 29, 2012 1:28 pm

MANY hugs hon

Are they going to look into why you are shorter? In ED sometimes you can get bone disease which can make you shorter and I think they need to look for that by the sounds of things- at least ask them what they think is causing it and does it need to be looked into?

Thanks so much re the Dr - yeah he was horrid.

I am so sorry things were difficult for you

Huge hugs

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:08 pm

Hey,

I'm not even sure if she realised, I didn't mention it. I just wanted to get out of there! I see my GP on monday though so i'll ask her about it. I do have problems with the discs in my spine, pelvis and hips so maybe that has something to do with it? I'll ask my GP anyway and see what she says.

My sister is coming to my next appt at the Ed place. She rang the girl i see to ask what she could do to help me. I'm so glad i told her now, she has been amazing! I just hope its not too much for her, she has pretty bad depression herself. I haven't relied too much on her though and we get together and just do fun things so hopefully she will cope ok.
I haven't been doing too well with eating etc the last few days and have lost a bit of weight but i expected that. I'm trying to get back on track.

Thank you so much for always listening :D
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Thu Nov 29, 2012 4:08 pm

Hi honey

Yeah def ask your Dr about the height thing - need to make sure it is OK

I am so glad to hear about how supportive your sister is being - I think that maybe her experience of depression makes her someone who is more understanding about mental illness in general.

Huge hugs and you are welcome for the listening - when I had ED problems badly it was pretty miserable and if I can be there for someone else who is going through that I want to be

Cracked
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:19 am

if I can be there for someone else who is going through that I want to be


:D I really do appreciate it! It's great being able to talk to someone who understands. That's my plan when i'm better. I would like to try and raise awareness too so that people don't feel they need to live with it for years out of shame/fear etc.

I haven't been doing very well with my eating plan this week since the nurse visit but I'm going to try and get myself back on track tomorrow. I just need to stop thinking about it.

I'm supposed to be going out with my sister next weekend so I'm going shopping on Tuesday so i can get something to wear. I'm not looking forward to that at all! I'm bringing my sister with me tho so she can tell me what looks good. If i didn't i would end up with nothing :roll:

Work wasn't great today, opinionated girl opened her mouth again! I'm wondering if i should tell my supervisor whats going on and ask her to say something. I'd rather not but i'm getting sick of her comments about my weight/diet.

I had to get some nicoteine patches to help me stop smoking again! I'm hoping since it hasn't been too long it will be alot easier than last time.

:D
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:58 am

Huge hugs hon - you will get there for sure. You have hope in your recovery and that is a huge deal and a big bit of recovery to get your head around.

weepingwillow wrote:I haven't been doing very well with my eating plan this week since the nurse visit but I'm going to try and get myself back on track tomorrow. I just need to stop thinking about it.


Sounds difficult - you will get back on track. It was a stressful thing with the nurse and I can understand why it has effected you so be patient with yourself.

Hope you find something nice to wear :D

And sorry to hear about work girl - try just to let it go over your head. Have a good think about telling your supervisor or not and weigh up the pros and cons.

And good luck with quitting smoking :D I quit a year ago and it is much better being off them for so many reasons.

Huge hugs

Cracked
So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

When all else fails, hug the CAT



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CrackedGirl
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