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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:12 am

Glad to hear your mood has picked up :D

How are you feeling today?

Huge hugs

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:15 pm

Hey,

How are you doing?
Thank you! I'm still feeling pretty good :D I went house hunting yesterday. Didn't get the one I wanted but I've seen a few others that are just as nice. I'm going to see another one tomorrow. I want to get moved as soon as possible as my treatment can't start until after. I'm really looking forward to it - I think it will be really good for me. Plus the shop won't be so close! :wink:
I must have walked about 15 miles yesterday and had two appts as well! I overdid things a bit so my back and hips are sore today and I have slept so much but it was worth it.
My GP reduced my ADs back down to 40mg because I was finding it so hard to stay awake on 60mg, she said she doesn't think they're doing much for my mood anyway.
My Therapist seems to think after 20 weeks of CBT I'll be fine - I'm not so sure. I hope so but I don't want to set myself up to fail and I think If I assume I'll be ok after 20 weeks, that's what I'll be doing.
Anyway, all good atm! :mrgreen:
Thank you for asking
((Big Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:11 am

weepingwillow wrote:Hey,

How are you doing?
Thank you! I'm still feeling pretty good :D I went house hunting yesterday. Didn't get the one I wanted but I've seen a few others that are just as nice. I'm going to see another one tomorrow. I want to get moved as soon as possible as my treatment can't start until after. I'm really looking forward to it - I think it will be really good for me. Plus the shop won't be so close! :wink:
I must have walked about 15 miles yesterday and had two appts as well! I overdid things a bit so my back and hips are sore today and I have slept so much but it was worth it.
My GP reduced my ADs back down to 40mg because I was finding it so hard to stay awake on 60mg, she said she doesn't think they're doing much for my mood anyway.
My Therapist seems to think after 20 weeks of CBT I'll be fine - I'm not so sure. I hope so but I don't want to set myself up to fail and I think If I assume I'll be ok after 20 weeks, that's what I'll be doing.
Anyway, all good atm! :mrgreen:
Thank you for asking
((Big Hugs))


Huge hugs to you hon. It sounds like the move is going to be so good for you - I really hope it works out quickly and also that you can get going on the CBT. GIve it a chance and just go in with an open mind - hopefully it will work, and if not then I am sure there will be other options too.

Huge hugs to you

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Thu Apr 25, 2013 8:15 pm

I saw my CPN today and we talked a bit about my SH. She wants me to try and change what I use to cut with and also try not to cut my stomach. Shes going to see if I can be referred to the SH team, shes not sure how it works with me going to EDS tho.
I found out today i'm only going to see her one more time and then that's it. I was just getting comfortable with her!

I think my mood is dipping again, i'm hoping its just tiredness but I don't think so. :roll:
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:11 pm

I've been a little up and down today but actually not too bad. I had to take some painkillers and go back to bed earlier because I had a massive headache but its not as bad now.

I went to mums and did some of her housework and sorted her meds again. Shes in so much pain atm, I wish I could do something to help her! She really needs a flat or bungalow, she really struggles on the stairs and it scares me that she uses them on her own.

I'm going to get some packing done tomorrow - even tho I haven't got a house yet! lol Going to see another one on Monday so hopefully it will work out :D
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:16 pm

Huge hugs hon

I would think you could be under EDS and a SH team too - I cant see why not.

Why are you losing your CPN - I would think that given how complex things are having one would be very useful to have them as a care coordinator with a CPA approach. Can you ask to stay on with her?

Hope you are doing OK today - thinking of you

Huge hugs

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:49 pm

Hey,

How are you?
Thank you, My mood is still a bit all over the place but mostly good :D
My CPN said she's backing off because I'll be going to EDS twice a week. Hopefully she will explain more next time I see her. I hope I can stay on with her. I really like her and was just starting to be able to talk to her.

I'm still sleeping quite a bit but it's only been 6 days since I reduced the ADs so hopefully it won't be too much longer. My CPN said she would like me to reconsider the reduced dose as the tiredness could just be my mood and I need the higher dose for anxiety.

I hope you're doing ok too!
((Big Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Wed May 01, 2013 6:43 pm

My mood is crap again! I am really sick of this!
I ended up cancelling my appt with J yesterday and told everyone to just leave me alone. I don't want to be around anyone. I just make everyone miserable anyway, they're probably glad to not have to be around me atm. I don't even want to be around me!

It looks like its going to take another few weeks for me to move so I can't get my daughter back or start my treatment until then.

I cut again yesterday. I was doing so well until a couple of days ago. I have managed to not go too deep tho so I suppose that's something.

I've just had enough of all this. I don't think I can do it anymore.

I have an appt with my GP tomorrow, i'll wait and see what happens.
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby whybother » Thu May 02, 2013 12:23 am

weepingwillow wrote:My mood is crap again! I am really sick of this! .......... I've just had enough of all this.


Life is like the tide. Sometimes it gushes good ....... Tragically life can't always be good, so it gurgles..... To make room for the next gush.

I don't think I can do it anymore


I was going to say don't self harm, but ........ Only don't intentionally self harm with the intention of doing so permanently. Please.

I don't want to be around anyone.


Is this the result of not being able to move?

There are times when I don't want to be around anyone either.

they're probably glad to not have to be around me atm.


Hope this is not a self self fulfilling prophecy! But if you're telling people to go away, aren't they wanting to be round you at the moment?

I cut again yesterday.


The result f learning it might be a few weeks before you move? aka because your depressed at not moving immediately ?

I have an appt with my GP tomorrow,


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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Thu May 02, 2013 8:57 pm

Thank you so much whybother!
How are you doing?

I'm feeling much better atm. Don't know why, today has not been good but I aint complaining! :wink:
I was just feeling sorry for myself and don't like people to see me being like that so I made sure they all stayed away (even if it meant being rude).
I saw my GP today and she suggested I speak to my therapist about trying new meds as the ones i'm on don't seem to be helping.

I sent off the application for the house. I really want to get a head start on clearing out and packing etc but just cant seem to shift myself!

Anyway, thanks again.
((Big Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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