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weepingwillow's journal (replies welcome)

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:13 am

Huge hugs Willow

What happened with hospital? Please keep very safe.

I am really sorry to hear you cut but can totally understand why given the situation you are in atm and all you are having to cope with. Remember everyone has slip ups and it does not mean that you are relapsing. It does mean that you need to be really kind to yourself atm.

Please keep is posted and thinking of you and all your family

HUge hugs

Cracked xxx
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:29 am

Thank you Cracked,

They just cleaned and bandaged them and sent me home again. They are sending a report to my GP.

I haven't slept yet but have to do a few things for my Mum, She cant get out in the snow. Hopefully when im finished i'll be able to get some sleep.

xxx
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:13 pm

Things sound horrid for you atm. Here for you <3

I hope that the report to your GP helps them to get some help for you - it sounds like you really need more support than you are getting

Pleasekeep safe and PM me if you need me

Huge hugs

Cracked xxx
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:47 pm

Thank you so much.

I didn't tell any of my family about last night. I actually did really well at 'playing happy'. I feel guilty for letting things get so bad when theres someone else who got the worst news possible. Its not about me.

Someone today said something along the lines of "you think you have problems and then you hear something like that and it makes you realise you need to just pick yourself up and get on with it"
I wish it was as easy as that - I really do!

Still haven't had any sleep but im trying to keep my mind occupied. I'm still having urges to cut. I'm wondering if the ADs i'm on are affecting me in some way. I've been through worse than this before but I've never been this bad. I think I will need to try and get an emergency apt with my GP on Monday.

Thank you for being there, it helps to know someone is listening.

xxx
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:07 pm

Huge hugs honey

weepingwillow wrote:I didn't tell any of my family about last night. I actually did really well at 'playing happy'. I feel guilty for letting things get so bad when theres someone else who got the worst news possible. Its not about me.


I can see why you did not tell tho I know how horrible it is keeping things like that from ppl. I suspect that you are struggling so much with all this because of the bad news and that is not your fault - you are not being selfish or anything - you have found out something horrible and the cutting is a way you know how to cope with the types of feelings it will certainly have brough up. Please go easy on yourself

weepingwillow wrote:Someone today said something along the lines of "you think you have problems and then you hear something like that and it makes you realise you need to just pick yourself up and get on with it"
I wish it was as easy as that - I really do!


However much we want to pick ourselves up it is not easy and saying things like that does not help imo. If you can, try to put on a sh*t shield for that kind of comment so it bounces straight off you.

weepingwillow wrote:Still haven't had any sleep but im trying to keep my mind occupied. I'm still having urges to cut. I'm wondering if the ADs i'm on are affecting me in some way. I've been through worse than this before but I've never been this bad. I think I will need to try and get an emergency apt with my GP on Monday.


Please try to sleep tho might be better to wait til bedtime now as you prob wont sleep properly tonight if you nap now. ADs could be a problem - I know they can be in some ppl. I def think it is worth seeing your GP to discuss it on Monday. Dont stop taking meds without a Dr's advice tho. If you feel unsafe tho go to A&E.

weepingwillow wrote:Thank you for being there, it helps to know someone is listening.


Definitely here for you

Huge hugs

Cracked xxx
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Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby Restored » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:53 am

Just want to echo what cracked has said

Huge huge huge hugs and here for you hun xxxxxx
A beautiful thing is never perfect

A certain kind of darkness is needed to see the stars
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:39 pm

Feeling a little better after talking with mum.

I tried to get some sleep but it's not happening so I think I will take that walk after all. Theres a few things I need to get anyway.

Thank you both for all your support. You have helped more than you know. Being able to talk openly here about things has made it so much easier to tell people in 3D.

Hugs xxx
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby CrackedGirl » Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:13 pm

HUGE hugs honey

I really really hope you can get some good quality sleep soon - it can make such a difference to things.

We will def be here to support you - things will work out OK but I know that is difficult to see when you are stuck in the middle of an awful time.

Huge hugs hon

Cracked xxx
So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

We don't delete posts on demand

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When all else fails, hug the CAT



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CrackedGirl
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:11 pm

Hey,

Just wanted to let you know I am feeling much better today. I slept a bit last night which I think helped.
J helped me fill in the ESA form today, I just have a few bits to add and then I can post it.

I haven't contacted my GP yet, I don't feel like I need to anymore. I feel better now.

I still haven't eaten anything but i'm going to try and have something small shortly. I'm trying to stay as busy as I can, the less time I have to think - the better I feel.
I'm having some urges to cut but they're not as bad.

((Big Hugs)) and Thank you so much again for all the support!

I'm almost scared to click submit because every time I start to feel OK something else happens to ###$ that up!

Here goes.......
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: weepingwillow's journal

Postby weepingwillow » Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:29 am

Well I changed my mind about needing to see my gp after I cut again but shes off until next week. I couldn't see any of the other doctor's because shes the only one who knows about everything. So i'm going to have to just try really hard not to until I can get an appt. Atm the urges are completely gone and i'm feeling a bit more positive so hopefully distractions will work better now.

I ended up phoning ESA and was able to apply over the phone :D I was proud of myself for that!
I managed to eat a little fruit yesterday.

I went to bed early last night and although I was awake for a few hours during the night, altogether I got about 8 hours. I think that's why i'm feeling more positive.
I have so much housework that needs done. I can't get anything done when i'm that depressed.
Hopefully i'm coming out of it now.
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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