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OCD diagnosis and remission??

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OCD diagnosis and remission??

Postby twisted.fate » Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:38 am

Hello! I'm a newbie here and just found this forum.

I have a question and just want to get others' opinions because I can't seem to figure this out myself. So please excuse my rambling...which I know I'm going to do to get this stuff off my chest.

I believe I have OCD, and in fact have had it for years now. However I have never been formally diagnosed or treated. And part of the reason for that is because I had an early onset age (symptoms began when I was around 10-11). I was never very close with my parents and lived with relatives for most of my childhood. And I used to have a total inferiority complex when it came to my parents, so I was too embarrassed to tell them my problems. And naturally they never noticed my less than happy mental disposition despite being doctors (sorry =P..... still a little bitter at times even though i've mostly gotten over it...haha). I didn't know what OCD was until high school, and let's just say there's very little doubt as to whether or not I have it. Things such as touching every street lamp on the way home from school, opening and closing my bedroom room at least 30 times before bed, going up and down the stairs in the dark repeatedly so I can circle into the kitchen to check the stove lights...etc. are some of my wonderful quirks.

I told my parents I had OCD after moving out for college. They naturally wanted me to speak to some doctors. But at that time I was over 18, and finally felt somewhat human and in control and not a perfect robot. Honestly I was depressed and self destructive during that time, but for some reason my OCD symptoms have gotten better, and I wasn't keen on having some stranger pick me apart, so I just told the parentals that I'll handle it. They didn't argue with me and haven't mentioned it since. In hindsight, I seriously doubt they even believed me in the first place, since I was always careful in front of them, and was the 'obedient genius child'.

It's been another couple of years, and I think that through my own personal growth, most of my psychological problems have lessened greatly. I still have issues, but they are minor enough to ignore and contribute to my artistic endeavors so I'd rather have them than not.

My OCD symptoms have mostly gone away these days, and what's left can even be described as me just being a 'careful person'. So I think I'm in a bit of a remission stage. However I find that if I'm under stress, or if I visit my parents' house or something, my compulsive behavior come rushing back. The good thing is that they do go away again when the stressor is gone.

I did some research, and it seems that OCD almost never just completely go away on its own, although remission periods are possible. And knowing me, the way I think, the career path I chose, it just seems way too unlikely that I'll be meditating on any kind of harmonious wellbeing any time soon. And even though i'm ok right now, I almost feel like a train wreck waiting to happen, just anticipating the crash and burn. (Uhmmm, anticipating does seem like the correct word here. Because in my current healthy state, I find that I'm almost craving the lack of it. It's a bit like a drug really. But like I said, I have self destructive tendencies).

So I'm wondering what you guys think I should do, or if you have any suggestions.

I'd feel stupid seeing a professional for former symptoms and the anticipation of new ones. I dunno how anyone can treat that request seriously, and how the hell would they diagnose something like that? But at the same time...I don't want to just do nothing either.

Anyways...any insight is welcome. And thanks for reading my ramblings to this point.

Cheers
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Postby Chucky » Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:52 pm

Hey,

So, your life is actually okay at the moment and you don't exhibit any OCD symptoms? My advice to you then is to leave now and never revisit this website! :) Only joking but, seriously, don't get too worked-up over this because when some people start learning about a disorder, they gradually begin to 'assume' that disorder even though they never had it (or only showed mild symptoms of it).

OCD is fine so long as it doesn't affect your quality of life. I've had severe OCD in the past and had therapy for it. I'd like to think that you could just now get on with your life and forget about all of this. If you can do that, then it'd make my day.

Kevin.
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Postby twisted.fate » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:33 am

haha.....i wouldn't call it completely symptom-less.....but compared to what it was during most of my teens it's like dealing with fluffy bunnies now...lol

I've made a lot of changed in my life during the last year and I think that's what's been helping me. It's just weird I guess...a bit empty now that I don't have to deal with my daily dosage of stress and pain. I've had it for the majority of my life that my body's pretty much now wired for it. Some bad habits I need to kick. Such as being a complete insomniac, which I became years ago in an attempt to occupy my mind and tire myself out so I would be too tired to drag on the nightly compulsion rituals.

You are right though. Best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I can never tell for sure what 'fixed' me or if it'll come back. So I'll just enjoy it as much as I can. And if it does come back.....then whatever....nothing new.

haha...i'm probably so used to stressing that the lack of stress is stressing me out.....@_@
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Postby Chucky » Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:28 pm

hehe, you're beginning to sound like me more and more now. I'm usually stressed too but when I have nothing to do, I am stressed about not feeling stressed. It's a vicious cycle really. I have to keep myself busy - otherwise, the depressive thoughts will arise.

You mentioned that your OCD comes back when you are at your parents' house - That's very common. I mean, when we go back to 'old haunting grounds', some of our old traist come back with us too. However, as soon as we leave the place, the traits vanish.

Have a nice day,
Kevin.
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