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Harm OCD considered giving it

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Harm OCD considered giving it

Postby helpme2333 » Fri Sep 15, 2023 4:39 pm

For info: I'm diagnosed with OCD

Like one year ago I was struggling with harm intrusive thoughts involving my older sister. I have had several breakdowns bc of that and was terrified of being alone with her. But now I am freaking out because I think I once considered giving in when the intrusive thoughts started. I remember once she was sleeping next to me and she breathed weirdly and I was wondering whether or not I liked that and then I has the thought "Should I?" and considered it for some milisecs. I am now ruminating about whether or not I truly wanted to harm her. I have never harmed her though and never was about to nor had fantasies about it. But this fear of "Did I genuinely want to hurt her?" eats me up. Please help me!

In case someone is wondering what I did when I had the thoughts. I tried to just sleep and then I went to the bathroom. I generally think I tried to distract myself but on the next day I had a mental breakdown at home bc I kept having these harm thoughts.
Last edited by Snaga on Fri Sep 15, 2023 11:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Title changed to avoid confusion, no other edits
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Re: Harm OCD considered giving it

Postby Snaga » Fri Sep 15, 2023 11:43 pm

Weird thoughts like that are more common than we think. It's my understanding everyone gets thoughts like that, everyone. It means nothing. Normies understand that, and slough it off, but we tend to glom onto them and overthink it to death.

I've had OCD with an emphasis on harm thoughts from childhood, and I've found the best way to deal with it is to make myself not care about the thoughts, and also not act on any compulsion to prevent the thought from being acted out. It's only a big deal, when I let it become one. It's hard to do at first because your mind will come up with all kinds of excuses to be afraid of yourself, but with practice it gets easier. I rarely have intrusive intentional harm thoughts that cause me distress, because I have learned to not allow them to distress me. Now, I need more work on unintentional harm fears, but that's another critter from this. I would say, once you start making yourself not care about intrusive harm thoughts, it's one of the easiest things to overcome. Maybe because this sort of thing comes under the classification of 'Pure-O', but it really comes down to a mind game and I had to be more stubborn than the intrusive thoughts.
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