Feel like I'm going insane

I just want to go back to the way I was if I was actually straight... Whenever I see an attractive girl whether its in real life or in an anime I get incredibly anxious and a little depressed

geasu wrote:I think I'm gonna try to quit porn again... I have been looking at it since I was in 3rd grade... and I'm in my mid twenties now

I'm glad to hear this. It's a hard road but I wish you the best.

geasu wrote:Whenever I see an attractive girl whether its in real life or in an anime I get incredibly anxious and a little depressed

Yes, because it triggers your fears that fuels the anxiety. The anxiety then fuels the fear and so on. I'm sorry you are going through this. Many in the forum (and those elsewhere) are going through the same thing.

First day done, but I had a really weird/bad dream just before waking up where in the dream everything was going normal and my brain decided to conjure up me having gay sex to test and it was very close to a wet dream. After that it switched over to me and a female and the wet dream feelings went away almost instantly. I really hope this doesn't mean anything

Congratulations. Yes, sadly, what is foremost on our minds is likely to invade our dreams.

seconded. A dream may be something greatly desired. Or something greatly feared.

Would gay male or repressed gay male have childhood crushed on girls? I can remember always trying to get girls even on online games, but I almost feel like it was fake or forced and that's making me kinda depressed to think about

I had a bad panic attack last night about my sexuality and I'm still kind of dealing with the fallout from it... For some reason, I remembered that I for some reason enjoyed seeing men and maybe women in compromising positions like being tied up or worse when I was younger. Is that a sign of being gay? But there's no way I could be gay since I always wanted gfs and all that, but of course then doubt comes in and trys to tell me that it is internalized homophobia and I was only doing that stuff because I thought it was the normal and only thing... And then why would I be turned on by the prospect of getting a dance in a VIP room at a club and then being really turned on by said dance(tmi and if I remember right).


Also, it's weird that I can't say I can picture myself with a guy or look at a guy sexually, but be incredibly turned on by penises in straight porn where I can't really get aroused unless one appears and I focus on it and this causes me a lot of distress. I apologize for the rant and some things being brought up yet again. I just needed to kinda get it out of my system because its making me feel a little depressed that I could have been living a lie this whole time

-- Thu Mar 16, 2023 12:36 am --

Porn is like a delicacy, i don't need it all the time. And always hetero. The female form is the only form i find attractive. I'm so hetereonormative, i even sometimes seek out lesbian porn, or female self masturbation porn, i prefer that, so as not to get the dick shots on camera. lol.