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Hocd for 18 years

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Hocd for 18 years

Postby Anxietyneverends00 » Sun Mar 06, 2022 5:36 pm

I’m beyond depressed I’ve been healing with hocd since I was 17 now 35 I’ve missed out on everything I’ve tired lots of therapists and meds and none have worked. I feel lost old unattractive like my dreams were taken away from me. I thought I’ve have a husband by now when i never even had a boyfriend. Im afraid this has made me afraid to be around people and I don’t go out and I’m feeling beyond sad now like it’ll never be good again. I have constant groinal response it unbearable I still ain’t able to watch a movie cause I have all these thoughts and I don’t know what to feel anymore. Please any advice
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Re: Hocd for 18 years

Postby Snaga » Sun Mar 06, 2022 6:18 pm

Hello and welcome to the forums!

I'm sorry to hear it seems as if nothing's worked. I doubt I can say anything that a therapist hasn't. Except that I believe OCD must be out-stubborned. It takes some attitude on our part to not bloody care if we're what the OCD tells us we are, or will do what the OCD is telling us we'll do. I have harm OCD- it doesn't bother me too much these days but it didn't get better until I decided not to care if I murdered my partner, or another loved one- or killed a pet. I'll worry about it when I've done it. Not before. Same with the occasional POCD thought (which isn't often but I do have a godchild). I'll worry about being a pervert when I actually molest. Not before.

It's a conscious decision that only you can make. That only I could make. Ain't easy. It's simple, but not easy. My harm OCD it was really hard at first. OCD is stubborn and it doesn't listen to reason so you have to be the one that is logical about it. It helps for me to consider my OCD as separate from me- since these are supposedly ego-dystonic fears- fears not grounded in our core being- then yes, it's me against this thing that lives inside my head, and feeds off my fear. I have to starve it.

It works for some of my stuff, anyway. I'm a very anxious person in general; so it's not as if I don't still have very unreasonable fears. But for some things yes it's whupped and it's because I got stubborn about letting it get to me.

Old and unattractive... please. I was a later bloomer than you when it came to romance. And I know others that were older than me. One nice thing about starting late, is that you don't have to go through that 50% divorce rate gauntlet almost everyone I know that got married young went through. Seems to me late bloomers have a better track record. You ain't too old.
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Re: Hocd for 18 years

Postby Anxietyneverends00 » Sun Mar 06, 2022 6:32 pm

Thank you snaga a lot of the therapist I seen didn’t even know about sexual orientation ocd or erp it made me anxious but I didn’t have lots of choices cause I had to use the ones insurance covered. None of them were ocd specialist which is what I need. It sucks thst unless your rich you aren’t able to see the therapist that’ll help. It’s been going on too long and I really am worried it’ll never go away
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Re: Hocd for 18 years

Postby mc1 » Sun Mar 06, 2022 11:35 pm

Anxietyneverends00 wrote:I’m beyond depressed I’ve been healing with hocd since I was 17 now 35 I’ve missed out on everything I’ve tired lots of therapists and meds and none have worked. I feel lost old unattractive like my dreams were taken away from me. I thought I’ve have a husband by now when i never even had a boyfriend. Im afraid this has made me afraid to be around people and I don’t go out and I’m feeling beyond sad now like it’ll never be good again. I have constant groinal response it unbearable I still ain’t able to watch a movie cause I have all these thoughts and I don’t know what to feel anymore. Please any advice


Hello, I'm a 35 year old male and have had HOCD since 2006, age 19. I've attended therapy which helped me, although I still spike. My advice is to seek help, and let this site serve as a support group. Still there's no substitute for therapy.
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Hocd ruined crush

Postby Anxietyneverends00 » Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:59 am

I’ve had Hocd for 18 years and I’m 35 and never had a boyfriend all these years have been a nightmare I’ve tired help and nothing worked. Having guys to like has been the thing thst gives me enjoyment though hocd tries to ruin it. These are usually guy that are fictional or unattainable like a celebrity which is pointless since I know I won’t be with them yet liking them have be excited feelings though hocd ties to make me doubt. For last few days I’ve been feeling hopeless and tired achy and feel like have no interest in guy just few days ago I liked looking at and I don’t know what to do. Any advice
Last edited by Snaga on Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: merged into existing thread, no edits
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Re: Hocd for 18 years

Postby Anxietyneverends00 » Fri Apr 01, 2022 6:52 am

Hello, I'm a 35 year old male and have had HOCD since 2006, age 19. I've attended therapy which helped me, although I still spike. My advice is to seek help, and let this site serve as a support group. Still there's no substitute for therapy.


Hi I wanted to respond to your message but it said since i haven’t been active am not able to I could really use talking to someone who been dealing with hocd as long as I have
Last edited by Snaga on Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hocd for 18 years

Postby mc1 » Wed Apr 13, 2022 4:36 am

Anxietyneverends00 wrote:
Hello, I'm a 35 year old male and have had HOCD since 2006, age 19. I've attended therapy which helped me, although I still spike. My advice is to seek help, and let this site serve as a support group. Still there's no substitute for therapy.


Hi I wanted to respond to your message but it said since i haven’t been active am not able to I could really use talking to someone who been dealing with hocd as long as I have


Hey there. I'm glad I checked my account. Feel free to message me if you like. Always good to meet folks my age suffering from this.
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