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Hocd exposure went wrong

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Hocd exposure went wrong

Postby XOtilDeath » Sun May 09, 2021 6:06 pm

This is a trigger warning. I made exposure for the first time now and I did it with a hocd sufferer here on *mod edit*. Everything was good, we exchanged views on our thoughts and symptoms. I told him that I want children and a wife And he urged to make exposure. I agreed and it led to exposure sexting. I got a very bad panic and he said it's okay. It has to be so. But as we continued, I felt it felt like it was real, as if it didn't feel wrong anymore, as if I liked it. It felt so real and people who know how real a thing feels like that moment I felt. I wasn't aroused or anything I just panicked and felt I would like it and it doesn’t feel wrong. After 10 minutes, I calmed down and realized okay. Everything's OKAY, nothing happened. We tried again. Out of nothing my real me said: "WTF am I doing here? This is so stupid that I don't belong here" and it felt like I spoke with my heart. it felt like the inside me. In any case, I went to sleep and woke up with a very bad fear as if I had a person on my conscience, I feel so disgusting. How is this exposure trying to help u in any way? Will It get better ? Should I continue ? Does anyone had this before?
Last edited by Snaga on Mon May 10, 2021 3:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: venue edited
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Re: Hocd exposure went wrong

Postby Snaga » Mon May 10, 2021 3:29 am

Do you mean sexting as if you were gay??

Why would you do that? That sounds... just as bad as checking by looking at gay porn.
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Re: Hocd exposure went wrong

Postby XOtilDeath » Mon May 10, 2021 10:23 pm

Snaga wrote:Do you mean sexting as if you were gay??

Why would you do that? That sounds... just as bad as checking by looking at gay porn.


Yes..
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Re: Hocd exposure went wrong

Postby Snaga » Tue May 11, 2021 5:19 am

I can't say as I agree to that. Sure you're not supposed to be scared of being gay, but acting as if you were- seems to me that'd just kick the OCD into overdrive. It's one thing for a person scared of heights to force themselves to stand near a balcony railing- quite another to hang off it like a monkey.
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Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
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