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Is it a TOCD flareup or am I trans?

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Re: Is it a TOCD flareup or am I trans?

Postby FreshGuy » Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:52 pm

Heya buddy, I can relate so much.

Even with the working out and wanting a muscly boy and then being worried if I'm just overcompensating for being trans, I do desire some nice big strong muscles though. I can't work out anymore anyway due to poor health but when I did I dealt with these kinds of thoughts in relation to the TOCD.

My story is quite similar to yours in a lot of ways as I am gay and I guess I am not really the manliest person and then I'm worried the non-manly things about me are signs of being a transsexual. I really hope they are not though.

I have some issues around being gay at times and wish I could have been straight so I could have had a wife and kids and be normal but that just isn't me, I am attracted to men.

But then the thoughts still confuse me and say maybe I want to be straight so I am a woman if I was trans but I think my true desire is not for that. I don't want to be a woman.

I want to just stay as a guy but TOCD is destroying me.

Sorry to hear about your family situation bro, my family is a bit more open about it which hopes.

I just wish I had never told them I thought I was trans once, I even publically declared it on my Facebook when the trans ocd thoughts were really high and I believed them. I wrote a post saying I was confused and thought I could be trans.

Just be you bro, you don't need to wear rainbows or dress feminine to be gay, you can just be you.

I also get the POCD too and worry I am a trans paedophile at times haha, they've both gone on for so long that maybe they're both true and that is terrifying.

It seems we have had similar themes.

For me, also the TOCD thoughts started after I came out as gay so then I was scared it was another layer of my true self being revealed, I really hope not though.

After I came out as bi I did actually feel like I was at peace with myself for a bit but then OCD took over my life in the forms of TOCD and POCD mainly and also incest OCD at times.

I wish you luck in your OCD recovery bro as TOCD is a nasty vile affliction.
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Re: Is it a TOCD flareup or am I trans?

Postby youllgetoverit » Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:59 pm

A new concern now is that I'm only acting critical of trans ideology because I am in denial about being closeted.

But shouldn't it be obvious I don't want to do any of this? I would rather just be my normal gay male self. I don't think I turned self loathing into hatred or something.
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Re: Is it a TOCD flareup or am I trans?

Postby Snaga » Tue Apr 13, 2021 4:18 pm

'trans ideology'

What is that? If you mean this political push to define anything as trans; then I'd agree with you. It's patently absurd, And I am just barely this side of being trans. Doesn't mean you're closeted.
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