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Am I trans in denial ?

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Am I trans in denial ?

Postby spidey-fan » Sun Jan 05, 2020 11:08 am

Okay, so am not sure what i am anymore.

I am a 22 year old guy whos about to finish up college and is opting for higher studies. So, the reason i made this is to hopefully be able to talk to other people since people around me irl are rather not educated about topics like these.

So, to start off, i used to be alot feminine when i was very, like,super young, having shoulder length hair and would wear frocks.But then as I got older, i grew out of it , behaved like any other male kid would, even "fell in love" with a girl during kindergarten lmao. I always thought myself as male and was pretty comfortable with it. though there was a time when i would fantasize about being a beautiful princess or someshit(think this happened around 4th grade) but other than that i was pretty comfortable in my skin. Always thought of myself as a guy and would go on to have various crushes on girls as well.
I am not super manly or alpha male or whatever. I always thought of myself as an average joe lol but I never really felt like i need to identify with female gender or uncomfortable with my own skin.
I always tend to go "manly" when am around girls out of pure instinct lol.

I do sometimes tend to behave feminine whenever i feel the need to mess around with my mates, when its related to women-related topics but other than that, i dont really display any feminine qualities.

As far as my interests are concerned i used to play alot with the hot wheels and spidey action figures that my dad used to bring me.I didn't really have an fem interests as well.then soon i got into video games and have been a gamer ever since

I used to post here due to HOCD a couple of years back and got some great responses that helped me go through those difficult times.

So anyways, the first time i had thought about this a hint of this when i was going through the board and read about TOCD which kinda made me spike a little, but i forgot about it since i was soon moving to college.
This came back when there's a person i was friends online with on steam , i knew the said person ever since my hocd days and he used to identify as a male back then.Anyways, I would watch his streams online and he appeared like any other male streaming video games.It was up till this point when i stumbled across the profile again said person came out as "trans".
So this is what made spike hard. all kinds of crazy thoughts "am I trans too" "am I in denial" "some people discover very late they are trans, could i be like them too ?" started off in my head and i panicked.

Sorry for the terrible english but its kinda hard to type when your heart rates going faster lol
spidey-fan
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