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I Need Techniques to Manage Need for Perfection in my life.

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I Need Techniques to Manage Need for Perfection in my life.

Postby emilly » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:12 am

Hi guys,

I am having a really really hard time coping with the need for perfection in my life. It drives me crazy when my belongings aren’t in perfect condition, especially when newly purchased. I inspect any item for flaws no matter how small. It’s gone to the extent where I’m have stopped buying things like clothes for myself as I can’t cope with imperfections in the things that I buy. My partner wonders why I wear the same things all the time, and all I can say is thank God I wear a uniform at work.

When I find a flaw in anything I own, it’s like that item becomes tainted to me, and my mind then rejects that item, and I stop being happy over owning it.

Also, if I can’t make something perfect in my life I stop trying.

I developed these behaviors as long as I remember, even as 13 year old doing my hair in front of the mirror, and redoing 100 times until it was “perfect”.

I’m in my mid thirties now, and this behaviors still are causing me misery. I know it’s illogical the behavior, but my mind will not let it go.

What can I try myself, DIY, to help? Any CBT techniques that may work? I can’t afford a therapist right now.
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Re: I Need Techniques to Manage Need for Perfection in my life.

Postby RottenFish » Sun Sep 30, 2018 1:18 pm

The only technique that has worked for me was to slowly introduce imperfection into my "perfect" life.

I started by leaving one dirty dish in the sink overnight. It caused me much anxiety, which resulted in sleepless nights. After a week, I got over it. Now I can leave dirty dishes in the sink with no problem. Then I progressed to only washing my car every other day (I used to wash my car everyday, even on rainy days). Now I only wash my car once a week.

I started out small, by purposely leaving one item in my house out of place. Over a few months, I progressed to leaving several items out of place. The key was to sit with the anxiety and to train my brain to think about other things besides the imperfections in my house.

This is no easy task, as it has taken me 6 years to get to this point.
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