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False memories or not???

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False memories or not???

Postby clg » Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:32 pm

I keep feeling like I've done things that I haven't (but then have I??)

Just now my roommate said bye to me and shut the door to leave the room. Just as she shut the door though (or maybe it was some time after) I unexpectedly came across something while scrolling on social media that triggered me. One of my compulsions/coping methods (I honestly have no idea anymore) right now is to basically say "f*ck you" to whatever triggering thing I just saw to try to distance myself from it so I did that but now I'm freaking out because what if my roommate heard me say it and thinks I'm saying it to her?? I could swear I heard her shut the door first before I said it but now I don't know anymore!!! What if she heard me through the door?? I already downloaded a decibel app to see how loud I might've been but I can't read it and then I tried recording myself in video and replaying it to try to see if I could hear my voice across the room and behind the door. I'm going to freak out over this for the rest of my effing time at camp I hate myself so much.
clg
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