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I don't know if I'm OCD or if this is real? Please help!

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I don't know if I'm OCD or if this is real? Please help!

Postby jaderbug » Thu May 17, 2018 9:36 am

Please help, if you can give me any form of contentment/advice I would appreciate it.

I am a 18 year old, just turned 18, and I have been suffering from health anxiety since november. I started to get really bad panic attacks, and have been to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack, but it was just a panic attack. Because of this, I've been experiencing really bad depersonalization and dissociation that is constant. I am very aware and in tune with everything going on in my body, which I'm sure is from my health anxiety. I am very afraid of death or having a physical that could ruin my life. I can hardly drive anymore because I am scared I will have a seizure and crash and kill myself or someone else. (I have never had a seizure before, I have no idea where the thought came from.)

But recently, my entire life has been flipped upside down. A few months ago, I watched a documentary on PGAD (persistent gential arousal disorder) and about a month ago I had a UTI, took medication and it went away. A few days later, I was aroused and the feeling did not go away. When I've been aroused before, I would always get an intense worry or fear that it would happen because of learning about what PGAD is, but it go away and the arousal went away, but now it hasn't left. It's been about a month now, and I constantly feel aroused. I've had the most severe panic attacks of my entire life. I cannot sleep because the thought doesn't leave my head. I've been to the hospital twice, and the doctors a few times now and they cannot find anything. I can't hangout with my boyfriend or friends anymore because of this fear that doesn't leave my head. I am very scared of having spontaneous orgasms, that it's all i think about! From the moment I wake up the moment I go to sleep it's all I can worry about. I've noticed that the only time I get relief is in my mind is not focused on it. I feel as if maybe I didn't think about it my symptoms would go away, but I can't stop obsessing over it. I have avoided anything to do with nudity at all costs. I will hardly even kiss my boyfriend. I notice any little tickle or touch that goes on down there because I am so fixated on it. I don't know if I actually have the disorder or if my anxiety is telling me I do. My birthday was spent me laying in my bed because my body is constantly riddled with terrible anxiety over this. I just want my life to go back to normal. I don't know if it's possible for my anxiety to be doing this to myself, but I'm honestly scared that if I don't think about it it will progress into something worse and then I won't be able to control it. I feel very relieved when my mom tells me it's all in my head, because that's what I'm hoping for. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle this. This was not the way I wanted to spend the first weeks of adulthood. Distraction used to help me, but now I can't distract myself enough to get my mind off of it. I am so scared. I've been getting extremely intrusive thoughts about this that will not leave my mind, it gets to the point where I just cry because I feel so hopeless. I cannot live a life if I actually have this disorder.
Last edited by jaderbug on Thu May 17, 2018 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I don't know if I'm OCD or if this is real? Please help!

Postby shock_the_monkey » Thu May 17, 2018 9:49 am

jaderbug wrote:If I don't think about it, it isn't there and I don't notice it.

... to the best of my knowledge, PGAD is a physiological, not psychological, disorder. so, i think this is anxiety.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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