Is the attraction always unwanted HOCD

Is there anyone else dealing hocd that can't say that the attractions are completely unwanted?

I feel like the tip-off that it is truly HOCD is not wanting the thoughts, feelings, etc. However, the more I imagine being with a woman in my head the more it feels actually good. I get such a strong reaction to just imagining it that I almost can't deny that it does feels good. And my attraction to men is pretty much just not there. At least in comparison to what I feel from imagining women, it's much less intense. So I really don't know what to think anymore.

I don't enjoy obsessing. I also can't imagine falling in love with a women, but it could be because I never properly committed myself to the idea of dating women.

Yet I really did like men for the better part of 30 years and it really bums me out that my attraction has diminished to this point.

Can anyone relate?

WorriedG287 wrote:Is there anyone else dealing hocd that can't say that the attractions are completely unwanted?

I feel like the tip-off that it is truly HOCD is not wanting the thoughts, feelings, etc. However, the more I imagine being with a woman in my head the more it feels actually good. I get such a strong reaction to just imagining it that I almost can't deny that it does feels good. And my attraction to men is pretty much just not there. At least in comparison to what I feel from imagining women, it's much less intense. So I really don't know what to think anymore.

I don't enjoy obsessing. I also can't imagine falling in love with a women, but it could be because I never properly committed myself to the idea of dating women.

Yet I really did like men for the better part of 30 years and it really bums me out that my attraction has diminished to this point.

Can anyone relate?

OCD is the doubting disease. When we force ourselves to be attracted by the opposite sex it seems disingenuous and we believe we really are gay. The goal is to not give these thoughts validity. It's not a sexual orientation issue, but a mental disorder. I've been attracted to women since about age 5 or 6. However, no amount of reassurance will quell my obsession because OCD twists our memories and we are never satisfied.

You have a boyfriend and you don't want to have an intimate relationship with a woman. You have to live your life and not give these thoughts validity.

mc1 wrote:

WorriedG287 wrote:You have a boyfriend and you don't want to have an intimate relationship with a woman. You have to live your life and not give these thoughts validity.

Yeah except my attraction and feelings towards him are not there at all right now. I'm not even anxious about it. I could even handle not being 100% straight and somewhere else on the spectrum, but to completely lose my attraction to men is really tough.

I should add that I'm not trying to feel attraction to men, it just isn't there. And I feel I'm alone in this one.

I hear ya girl. the biggest struggle for me is just NO attraction to men any longer, and this weird anxiety around female friends. It's been like this for a few years for me, so I have pretty much no hope if it reversing itself. sigh.

sophisma7 wrote:I hear ya girl. the biggest struggle for me is just NO attraction to men any longer, and this weird anxiety around female friends. It's been like this for a few years for me, so I have pretty much no hope if it reversing itself. sigh.

I feel the same as you really. Just reverse the sexes. But it's weird because like, I know I want an opposite sex person but I can't describe why and body doesn't necessarily agree in terms of physical signs as such.

jdd wrote:

sophisma7 wrote:I hear ya girl. the biggest struggle for me is just NO attraction to men any longer, and this weird anxiety around female friends. It's been like this for a few years for me, so I have pretty much no hope if it reversing itself. sigh.

I feel the same as you really. Just reverse the sexes. But it's weird because like, I know I want an opposite sex person but I can't describe why and body doesn't necessarily agree in terms of physical signs as such.

That is so spot on. It's the most confusing thing in the world. I feel like I have amnesia, or that I've switched places with someone. I remember being attracted to the opposite sex, and I remember that it was exciting and something I loved, but I can't quite associate that with myself anymore. It's like I lost a limb or something, and I'm trying to remember what it was like to still have that limb.

At times it's obnoxious. I like reading erotica (TMI sorry! ) and even though I'm reading it thinking that the guy is *so* hot, my brain keeps telling me that I am actually looking for his qualities and sexiness in a woman. Like....what??? But it feels like such a real accusation!

That isn't exactly what I meant but I can understand your frustration with that at the end there. Because I don't really have a good memory of my past and that isn't really OCDs fault that I'm aware of. I just remember liking some girls, but there isn't an associated memory or feeling with it. And I can be with a girl and know this is what I want, but I don't have a specific reason why, I just do even without an explicit feeling.