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***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Snaga » Sun Aug 15, 2021 8:01 pm

Pocdsucks wrote:DAMMIT!!!
I was going to visit my cousin, and then I saw him topless. I didn't get any arousal whatsoever. And then when I slept my brain kept telling me that I was just faking not being aroused by it. Any help please?


Sooner or later you're going to have to make yourself disregard what OCD tries to tell you. Stop second guessing your arousal- if you're really aroused by something, you'll know it.
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Kaleb28 » Thu Aug 19, 2021 5:56 am

Today has been a whirlwind of emotions I've felt both imense stress and slight peace it's like one moment I like women and than another moment I see a really attractive man and get depressed, now snaga has mentioned trying to get to a point where I can step out of my obsessions and examine logically what I am/like and what I'm not, that's pretty hard because I'm never at peace and when I am it's not "total" peace it's only slightly alleviating but when I look on my past I remember only exclusively liking women and wanting only that but especially 4 months ago I started finding men attractive(well further back than that but it really ramped up 4 months ago) and certain things about women started to disgust me to some extent so logically speaking wouldn't finding men physically attractive mean something now I understand that a straight person can enjoy watching gay porn but still be straight but when I look at pictures of guys on the internet I find men extremely attractive I also find women attractive I'm a little afraid of going to a psychologist about this because I'm afraid there going to say something akin to there's nothing you can do about it and you need to let go of the past (which I've tried doing the ladder though I'm not so sure whether I've made much progress yet) I don't know there's a part of me that just doesn't want to deal with stupid relationships it seems like it will cause more stress than happiness
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby ZeroStream93 » Fri Sep 10, 2021 10:23 am

*mod edit*
Last edited by Snaga on Mon Sep 13, 2021 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: please review the forum rules on excessive promotion of religion or other belief systems
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Kaleb28 » Sun Sep 12, 2021 5:08 am

This past weeks been pretty bad, Everytime I check I check to see if my attraction to men has disappeared and sometimes it's not so strong which gives me so much relief which is great, I don't know, none of my feelings are similar to those in OCD forum which sucks. I've always been a sissy to some extent and more recently Ive had good feelings thinking of men. I remember being 13 and thinking to myself, being bisexual sounds great because than you can enjoy a wide range of options than when I was 14 and I had ocd bisexuality sounded better than being gay and by 15 the thought sounded just as bad as being gay (I think). These days the idea of kissing a woman doesn't speak to me anymore, I feel like I'd have to force myself to kiss a woman which isn't something I think I would have ever said in a million years before. Even if I do get over this a world where I have the option between the two sexes is a world I don't want to live in, who knows maybe I was clueless all along maybe my "OCD" all these years was just a coverup for something else.

Anyway sorry if I triggered anybody
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Snaga » Mon Sep 13, 2021 3:44 pm

Kaleb28 wrote:This past weeks been pretty bad, Everytime I check I check to see if my attraction to men has disappeared and sometimes it's not so strong which gives me so much relief which is great, I don't know, none of my feelings are similar to those in OCD forum which sucks. I've always been a sissy to some extent and more recently Ive had good feelings thinking of men. I remember being 13 and thinking to myself, being bisexual sounds great because than you can enjoy a wide range of options than when I was 14 and I had ocd bisexuality sounded better than being gay and by 15 the thought sounded just as bad as being gay (I think). These days the idea of kissing a woman doesn't speak to me anymore, I feel like I'd have to force myself to kiss a woman which isn't something I think I would have ever said in a million years before. Even if I do get over this a world where I have the option between the two sexes is a world I don't want to live in, who knows maybe I was clueless all along maybe my "OCD" all these years was just a coverup for something else.

Anyway sorry if I triggered anybody


Try to not 'check' what your attractions are, and just go with the flow a while and see where it leads you. Constantly ruminating on it is only going to make your head spin, I think.
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Artninja1995 » Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:18 pm

Dammit

Sometimes I feel like I’m just pretending to not like/want the thoughts. And that I have this “urge” to look up CP out of some “morbid curiosity” but I really don’t want to. And I’ve never really had that urge or thought before, which, I know, it’s OCD. I don’t like feeling like that. I know I was confident in what I wanted before this, and knew definitely what I DIDN’T want.

It’s just like I don’t even care anymore. And I feel like these thoughts are attached to the core of my brain if that makes sense, and I wish I could just pull that core out. I’m so confused about which are my genuine feelings and which are OCD trying to mess with me. I do know that just now when I had those thought that I felt a sense of…I think it was dread? Ad I felt a definite cold sweat feeling wash over me.

It’s like I’m just so numb to everything now that I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. Again, I know it’s OCD, so of course it’s going to be like that.

I was just enjoying a high from a dream I had where it felt like one of the guys from a YouTube channel I like liked me back (and he’s in his 30s so, phew) and it felt good. But I guess OCD decided things were too quiet (probably more like I tried to compulse and test myself, I’ve been finding I do that quite sneakily). My brain keeps trying to conjure up a scenario where I go on talk shows or something and I’m indroduced as the first open pedo or something but I’ve NEVER EVER thought that before. I don’t like thinking that. At all. I know before I’ve gotten very obviously upset and felt absolutely sick when having any of these thoughts or “feelings”. And that I would feel significant relief when coming to a conclusion that I’m not a pedo and don’t enjoy the thoughts or “feelings”. Now it’s so very unclear. I know that means OCD has whittled me down into a state of “meh who cares”
I am the dancing queen, young and sweet, only...not seventeen :/

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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Snaga » Fri Sep 17, 2021 6:18 pm

Artninja1995 wrote:It’s just like I don’t even care anymore


I think if you didn't care, it wouldn't bother you so. And to me, the entire object, is to intentionally train yourself to have an attitude of not caring. It's only when you don't 'care', that the fangs are pulled from the obsessional fear. At least in my experience. I have to make myself not care, or else I remain in fear. Of course on some level, I'd care if I were a pedophile, or if I was a killer (my harm OCD)- I'd be horrified. But by deciding to not care, I defer that horror for when it's deserved, and not before. Do I look at illegal images, or grope children's naughty bits? Nope- so I'm not a pedo. Any thoughts in my head are confined to the 1300 or so cubic centimetres of flesh inside my skull. You have to judge yourself by what you do, not what you think.
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Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Artninja1995 » Sat Sep 18, 2021 12:12 am

It’s just so hard to do that. I don’t want these thought to be there at all.
I am the dancing queen, young and sweet, only...not seventeen :/

"You do you, and I'll do me, and we won't do each other...Probably." -Markiplier

"Stand Fast. Stand Strong. Stand Together." -Admiral Hackett, Mass Effect 3
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Kaleb28 » Sat Sep 18, 2021 4:07 am

I don't feel as attracted to men right now and I feel moderately happy (this is somewhat scary to type)
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Re: ***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Postby Kaleb28 » Sat Sep 18, 2021 3:39 pm

I've been feeling terrible I was reading through older DSM additions and it just seems unlikely that I have ocd because I find men attractive. I don't excessively worry about being gay/bi I excessively worry that I won't go back to normal older DSM additions seem to point twords finding your attractions distressing which I do. Now I was diagnosed with ocd 3 years ago but I'm 90% positive that that was a major mis diagnosis
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