Loss of attraction - HOCD?

Hi guys. I believe im suffering HOCD, dont feel like giving my life story. (im a girl).

What bothers me is that I believe ive been kinda depressed for maybe about a year. I lost my attraction to guys, and my HOCD is saying I was never truly attracted to them. When I see a guy shirtless and with abs, I questioned why other girls were all attracted to him or if before HOCD if i ever liked guys, which spiked me. It feels like i never liked them. Even with my boyfriend who i love, i remember feeling soooooo much attraction to him. I feel my past with guys is kinda blurred, i remember being soooo much more attracted and having crushes before my boyfriend (and some small attractions to other guys while im dating him) but the false attractions to girls feel stronger. Its just so confusing. I feel like my attraction to guys is sort of returning...but im not even sure it feels right. idk. Im very depressed and worried all the time. I feel like im waiting for some attraction thatll never return. Maybe its not even HOCD??? ugh. BTW, i was on effexor until two months ago I started 100mg of zoloft. In february/march I started birth control until i stopped around july.

I think i can understand what your going through i feel sometimes the same at the moment i am also struggling once again really hard with my sexuality. I think just the struggle that you have or making yourself is avoiding you from feeling the right thing and i know how easy this is written and how hard it is to accept. For Example in my university studies i was so stressed especially before exams that i wasn't able to feel anything for girls i just saw them and there where nothing. So i got kind of crazy with my paranoia at this point i really thought i am gay so i tried it with two different guys and it was both times really bad. Anyway i didn't recommend you to try it with a girl if you struggling with HOCD because now i am blaming my self for this gay experience and its once again the starting point for new HOCD fairs.

At the moment i think the only way to get over it is to kind of ignore it. When you are noticing this HOCD thing in your head just try to skip it. I think if someone is able to skip this fears so they can not scare him than he or she can also find him/herself

With HOCD, you are going to for sure lose attraction to the opposite sex because you are sooo obsessed with the same sex. HOCD will make you think you never like guys ever in your life, and even if you did, it was all about girls. No matter what, HOCD has to be about girls. With OCD, it'll tell you that your past was a lie even though it wasn't. You said you felt attraction for your boyfriend and other boys as well; you're not gay. Of course right now, attraction for girls will be a lot more stronger than men are because you are analyzing and thinking way too much over this thought. Once you let the thoughts go, I promise your attraction will come back eventually. I suffered with HOCD for about 2 months and completely lost attraction to the opposite sex; I felt like I didn't like my boyfriend anymore or find any attraction with him. All my mind was about was girls, girls, girls. After TOCD struck me in the face, my HOCD was completely gone and now I feel all my attractions to guys came back.

HOCD ma de me think that I was a lesbian for 5 years. It was horrible. And while this was happening I got my first boyfriend who I love. Now that I'm typing it, it's so silly. The thoughts are so intrusive they make you believe they are real. Right now I'm figuring out if I'm bisexual or not. I really don't want to be so who knows if I am or not. But the best things you can do ( I feel) is to say "ok" t these thoughts instead of rejecting them. Say to yourself " I will love myself no matter who I am." If you were born straight. Your are straight. Same w gay or bi. There's nothing wrong w that. Also stop checking. It's never good. So that means stop asking yourself if you like this or that or if you feel some arousal. Also stop checking your past. I feel we've all done stuff when we were younger when we were figuring out what feels good. I hope you feel better. Hopefully we all do. It's surprising how many people are like me. Honestly it's so relieving.