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Bendib's final Pure-O/HOCD/POCD/ROCD/etc explanation

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Bendib's final Pure-O/HOCD/POCD/ROCD/etc explanation

Postby bendib » Tue Jul 22, 2014 12:13 am

*** TRIGGER WARNING. ***


What is Pure-O?


What is Pure-O? Well, in the simplest sense, Pure-O OCD is what happens when OCD locks on to your greatest fears. It's not really different than regular OCD by a lot, except with Pure-O, the rituals become mostly mental, because rather than checking locks and washing hands, your OCD is focused on your fears, which you are trying to disprove.

Pure-O is one of the most painful mental problems in existence. The question can be:
Am I gay?
Am I a pedophile?
Do I love my partner? Are they right for me?


..Or any assortment of other terrible questions.


What causes Pure-O?


A normal person would ask one of these questions once, note that it's not likely that the question is true, and move on. With Pure-O, the fear of the tiny possibility sticks in your mind, making you question, research, google, ask friends and strangers, etc, until the anxiety builds up and it turns into Pure-O.

When that happens, then the intrusive thoughts, emotions, and sexual stuff starts up. Your logic becomes clouded, and the only thing left is fear and pain. It's absolutely excruciating.

What are the symptoms of Pure-O?

The intrusive thoughts, emotions, and false sexual desire work towards one goal:
To convince you that whatever you are afraid of is the truth.


Logic goes out the window, and everything will start pointing to your fear. I had HOCD, it was so severe, I eventually 'accepted' being gay, told my parents I was gay, fell into a depression, and as the HOCD went away since it's question was exhausted, my sexual desires returned to normal, the intrusive thoughts/emotions went away, and it was so clear that I was straight all along.

I constantly hear things from HOCD people like "I only ever wanted to be with a girl, I don't want to be gay, I never was attracted to men before, but I'm so sure I'm gay."
I hear from POCD people "I don't like children, I was never aroused before, I maybe did something stupid when I was 8, but I just know I'm a pedophile."
From ROCD, "He's so perfect for me I love him so much but do I? Maybe it's all lies etc etc etc".

There is no amount of reassurance, confirmation, nagging or evidence that will totally shut up the Pure-O, because, and this is absolutely important, OCD is NOT ABOUT TRUTH. It's about fear, pain and anxiety.



What can I do about Pure-O?


IGNORE IT'S QUESTIONS! DO NOT ASK OR LOOK FOR REASSURANCE OR ESPECIALLY "PROOF".

There is no answer the OCD will ever accept as satisfactory proof, despite what you think. God could descend from heaven and tell you you aren't gay, and the OCD would probably keep going.
The Pure-O wants you to have some question or suspicion so terrible, that you either won't let go from fear, or it'll have you in a stranglehold thinking that it'd be really, really wrong for you to let the question go.

You must let it go anyways! That's the key! Let it go! Decide you don't care anymore, but don't allow it to place a nasty reason you don't care, use the reason "it's OCD and I can't deal with problems rationally under OCD". You won't be a bad person for doing so.


Can medications help?
Yes. There are a number of medications that can help OCD. Anafranil is popular, but it and other tricyclic antidepressants like it are quite dangerous for people with weak or bad hearts. SSRIs do help, but they take TIME to start working. A lot of time. Weeks. You often won't feel any improvement at all for a long time after starting these medications.

Can diet help?
Apparently yes. Sunflower seeds are among one food that helps with OCD.

Personal note: For me, gluten makes the OCD much worse. MUCH worse. It might just be me, but I thought that was worth mentioning. I haven't eaten anything with gluten in 2 years.
I avoid processed foods and junk food, like all chips and ice cream etc. Some dairy also seems capable of making my OCD worse.


Any natural stuff that works?
I haven't found anything natural that will SILENCE the OCD.

I have however found supplements that help me. They don't silence the OCD, but they help somewhat with varying degrees of effectiveness. Before I tell you, please note that taking too much of these is really bad, and can make the OCD worse, and also that MIXING THESE WITH MEDS IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. Some of these things interact with meds! I take GABA, and Valerian root, and Relora, and Dopa Mucuna. Serotonin supplements can help too but don't take too many because Serotonin is a neurotransmitter and bad things happen (like Serotonin syndrome) if you take too much. I drink Apple Cider vinegar in water, but not too sour because that hurts your stomach. I don't remember why this one helps.

Another thing that helps is STAYING HYDRATED.

If you have suggestions for this topic's update, let me know.
bendib
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Re: Bendib's final Pure-O/HOCD/POCD/ROCD/etc explanation

Postby bendib » Sat Jul 26, 2014 6:41 am

Possible trigger warning.

I had an epiphany tonight, which I have already posted in another thread, and I figured I'd post it here.
It occurred to me, why the intrusive thoughts, and emotions, and sexual stuff? Why does the Pure-O trick a man afraid of urine into feeling like he's pissing himself all the time? He has a physical sensation of urine going down his leg. He's obviously not pissing himself, so why? The OCD did it.

It appears that the OCD creates the illusion that your fears are true.

I'm not sure what to think of this. The human brain is, weird.
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Re: Bendib's final Pure-O/HOCD/POCD/ROCD/etc explanation

Postby Doudi57 » Sat Jul 26, 2014 12:22 pm

Hi,
I may have pure-o pocd. It's so hard, I'm close to suicide everyday but I don't have the courage to kill myself when I think I was feeling good 2 month ago, when I had no questions... I hope so much it's pure-o, because if it was real pedophilia, I would definitely kill myself. I can't talk to anybody about that. I have a question: do you think that falling in love with a person of my age is possible with this disease ? Would it be possible ?
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Re: Bendib's final Pure-O/HOCD/POCD/ROCD/etc explanation

Postby bendib » Sat Jul 26, 2014 1:26 pm

With Pure-O? Yes. Of course. But I don't expect this intensity of Pure-O to last forever. It goes down when you know it's Pure-O, as you need to accept.
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Re: Bendib's final Pure-O/HOCD/POCD/ROCD/etc explanation

Postby Revemup15 » Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:27 am

Great post bendib!
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