I have always had to have something to be addicted to. Now middle aged looking back it started with food, then nicotine, alcohol, huffing, weed, fitness, alcohol, nicotine, opioids, and amphetamines. Why cant I just live without an addiction? Something is in the way and I cant pin point it. Even if I could, would it change anything? I dont know what else to say. I'm just tired of everything which is really nothing new.