News of Schizoid Personality Disorder Forum

Anyone use the Internet as a way to cope?

I feel like I can't talk to people in real life. They're at best boring, and then I get caught up in my voices. If I don't respond, they raise a fuss. They're total control freaks. They have accused me of being a control freak. But they're the control freaks. A control freak tries to control other people. I just try to control myself.

I also ...

I haven't got myself diagnosed by the psychiatrist. It was just recently when I'm trying to figure myself what am I actually? For more than 15 years I have to deal with phone phobia. I get super anxious receiving a call and making a call. I also avoid calls from my friends which is a way for me to make an excuse to not hanging out with them. I don't really have many friends in ...

Too many bad memories. Replaying in my mind, some hypothetical about the future. Several involve me being harassed about why I don't want kids. The "person" asks a near infinite amount of questions about it. Some involve dating shallow individuals in the future who only care about looks and rolling around in the hay. Totally shallow and sex addicted. That happens a lot you know. There are people who don't care *what* you say on ...

I have been practicing Mindfulness Meditation to stop with the intrusive thoughts. Can you be mindful all day?

Another question: is there any psychological difference between daydreaming about someone insulting you and them actually doing it in real life?

It might not come across clearly on this forum but I struggle to identify emotions. The issues lies in how I experience them. I only really feel four emotions. The pleasurable emotion, the unpleasant emotion, the pleasantly unpleasant emotion and the lack of emotion. That is not to say that I don't have a variety of emotions, they just tend to taste mostly the same.

I have to process the emotions through context and then ...

I had a thought today that I might not be able to experience comfort.... at the moment anyway.

People....well...obviously that dosen't work.
Nor drugs. Nor alcohol. Nor flattery.

Music used to do it. And sometimes movies or books, but I'm not really someone who can relive comfort through repeatedly watching or reading or listening to something.

Maybe I'm just going through a period of emotional numbness, but I'm certainly looking for some options in the ...

It's pains me to speak to people. Every time I open my mouth, the voices start.

Can anyone relate?

I don't really know where this thread belongs, but I'm sure I can find good insight here. I'm actually an ex-member of this forum (back in 2012) and I used to dwell mostly in the schizoid forum as I shared many traits with them, but I lost my old account info, so rip.

I'm a nihilist, never really managed to get out of the mindset that nothing matters, no right or wrong, everything is just ...

Do you push others away and if so, why?

Apparently this is an issue of mine and I am trying to figure out why. My mind has drawn a blank.

So, it's taken me some time to write and I've probably still missed things out but below is a fairly long read, so I apologise. The start is history, and there is now at the end. I've separated the two parts by "*****" if anyone doesn't want to read the full whack and just wants to read the now.

Here goes:

I went from being an extroverted infant/small child, to a painfully, embarrassingly “shy” child, ...