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Trying to give yourself an actual illness?

Hi everyone, I'm new here so I hope I'm doing this oke but I've been really struggling with wanting to give myself Psychogenic Non Epileptic Seizure (PNES) or at least make myself black out spontaneously. However, it's definitely not working yet although I'm fairly certain I've damaged quite a bit of brain cells trying to make myself black out spontaneously. And it's driving me nuts. More important is that I actually want to develop PNES ...
Read more : Trying to give yourself an actual illness? | Views : 804 | Replies : 0

Is this facticious disorder?

I feel like I faked my depression all along. I started suspecting it when I was 11- I was coming to terms with my sexual identity and lost some personal friendships which left me feeling lonely, deeply hurting, hating myself, isolated, and suicidal. And my dad was narcissistic, that too. I thought it would go away normally but it lasted for weeks. I self-diagnosed using online symptom checkers before I got my official diagnosis for ...
Read more : Is this facticious disorder? | Views : 1118 | Replies : 1

Guilt and hope

When I realized what I had done to myself, I had a panic attack. When I thought about how other people were hurt by what I was doing, I wanted to take my own life.

Doctor said to me, "I want you to forgive yourself."

If I were going to go to jail over any of this, it would have happened by now.

Forgiving yourself takes time, and it not easy. I was watching a ...
Read more : Guilt and hope | Views : 579 | Replies : 0

Is this a Factitious Disorder?

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted something to be wrong with me, or something to happen to me. Something that no one wants(chronic illness, mental issues, etc).

I become almost obsessed with the idea and daydream about "what if this happened" or "what if I got this illness?", "what if I had this mental issue". I want to have an eating disorder even though I have no body issues/any typical reasons ...
Read more : Is this a Factitious Disorder? | Views : 908 | Replies : 1

Issues (legit) in FD

There is a definite issue with cognitive issues, I think some of us will agree.

I found someone to do the neuropsychiatric testing, which sounds fantastic. It will be nice to know what to do for this stuff.

And the thyroid is being tested, results will give (hopefully) and answer to the autoimmune issues, the burning and tingling in my hands and feet-which has been misdiagnosed multiple times, and though I have been no help ...
Read more : Issues (legit) in FD | Views : 994 | Replies : 0

How do you make a decision for a real medical issue?

Knowing or acknowledging you may have factitious disorder or doctors think this of you really at first is a shock. Did doctors come out and tell you or did you read it in your medical record? I found out after reading my medical record that it was diagnosed a year earlier but no one bothered to tell me or sit down and discuss it.

After you find out you have this, how have you been ...
Read more : How do you make a decision for a real medical issue? | Views : 985 | Replies : 6

Abuse predictors in FD


As I have been going over my own "timeline" and looking at the abuse that was going on in the development of the FD, it began to be in order to stay home because at school, there was 30+ (in number) of bullies. At home, I knew what to expect and how to avoid it-and there was just one there.

The development of FD seems to have a consistent problem of to not go ...
Read more : Abuse predictors in FD | Views : 795 | Replies : 0

I think I have FD

Ever since the age of 9, I've been faking stuff. I tried to kill someone just to prove that I had schizophrenia and/or was a psychopath! I've never had a history of abuse. I'm afraid that telling my parents will result in terrible outcomes, since my parents are really scary when they're angry. Part of me want to just end it all and get rid of the stress for good, and another part of me ...
Read more : I think I have FD | Views : 875 | Replies : 1

Should I reveal I was diagnosed with Factitious Disorder?

I have numerous concerns about mentioning my diagnosis to others. If I do so, they may:

1. Cease having sympathy for me, even for things I am actually struggling with.
2. View all of my actions and statements with suspicion, fearing that I am simply "exaggerating" or "making things up".
3. Lose sight of me as a person, and instead focus on viewing me through the lense of my disorder.
4. Terminate their relationship with ...
Read more : Should I reveal I was diagnosed with Factitious Disorder? | Views : 1797 | Replies : 2


I had a messiah complex, but blanked it, only problem, is its robbed 5 years of my sad life & put me 5k in debt & spoilt my home & CV (
Read more : Resolved | Views : 1213 | Replies : 0


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