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Feeling unreal, denial, pushing back against therapy

I had therapy yesterday. Yesterday was exhausting, today I woke up feeling panicked and ready to check myself into psych ward. (I didn't.) I just feel like there is so much happening. I feel like I'm being pushed and pulled in all directions and spun around. I desperately want to talk about the experiences that confuse me throughout the week when I'm in therapy. But I hate my therapist's reactions. I want to share and ...
Read more : Feeling unreal, denial, pushing back against therapy | Views : 96 | Replies : 4

TW: Xmas / Holiday / Family etc rant

*** trigger warning : ranting & talking abt family xmas stuff ***

We've been talking inside a bit about the approaching holiday, and what it all means to us and stuff.

For us, Xmas is a time of shouting, of stress, of family fights, of guilt trips and shame. Its about being forced to spend time with people we don't like - drunk uncles and evil aunts and clueless old people with dementia.

One of ...
Read more : TW: Xmas / Holiday / Family etc rant | Views : 147 | Replies : 5

Do you guys let go and let other take control?

I dont k ow how to describe it but I'm co con and in control most of the time.

It was a simple question that was asked but it opened up a world of different emotions like fear.

Ultimately I'm co con and I'm used to everyone being up at once and then another batch of alts come up and we all share up time. It seems to be working,everyone gets times to be up ...
Read more : Do you guys let go and let other take control? | Views : 308 | Replies : 14

Feeling anxious

My move is quickly approaching and I must admit I am feeling nervous and anxious about leaving my T. I don't want to go through the process of finding a new one when I move. I don't want to go through the process of having to tell a new T about the DID and worry that he or she won't believe us. I was seeing this T before the DID was known to me, and ...
Read more : Feeling anxious | Views : 195 | Replies : 5

How to help troubled part?

Fourteen is clearly the one who's "job" is to feel bad. He has background that has nothing to do with our body's background, but T explained me, it does not matter. That is still the way our system deals with trauma, and because he clearly is traumatized by the things that have happened to him, we need to address it just the way he feels it is. His feelings are true and he is troubled. ...
Read more : How to help troubled part? | Views : 300 | Replies : 10


Hi everyone,

for now I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi. If there's a separate thread for that, I missed it!

I recently started traumatherapy and the possibility of there being parts has come up. At this time, it's not clear if there really are any parts or how distinct they are if they're there, so my therapist and I are trying to keep an open mind one way or the other.

It ...
Read more : Introduction | Views : 178 | Replies : 5

Bit of a downward spiral...

I just wanted to post about the past few days and how we're feeling...

I posted the other day about our SO being negative and mean about our new craft venture...and I guess this is linked to that incident really...

Our SO went away last weekend (two weekends ago) and came back quite frazzled. I think she was trying to regain some calm, but throughout last week she kept doing a few negative or confusing ...
Read more : Bit of a downward spiral... | Views : 290 | Replies : 3

Sudden Influx of Alters

So this past month or so has been... a lot, to say the least, for a lot of us in here. In this time span, we've discovered a lot of new alters -- eight of them, to be precise.

Before now we've found alters at a relatively slow pace. For example, one in the middle of March, another at the end of June, maybe another in October... There was always a gap of time where ...
Read more : Sudden Influx of Alters | Views : 382 | Replies : 9

*Trigger Warning* question about alters coming out

hi i noticed when i have sex with my partner i often switch into an alter as soon as it happens, and also I think more then one come out, I think it's like 3 total. I did have some sexual abuse issues, but as a teenager.
Also as a teenager when i was just becoming sexual, was when i really noticed alters, and had this happen then too. usually i switch right away into ...
Read more : *Trigger Warning* question about alters coming out | Views : 377 | Replies : 6

Kind of just here (crowfriend journal)

hi, i guess this is my first thread here. i've done a lot of lurking, but i finally made an account today.
my name is adrienne, i guess i'm kind of the host? i'm not really up to date on the current terminology. some backstory, though;

for the most part, we've all been aware of "others" since about late 2013. there are pictures that are clearly "someone else" from even before that, but one of ...
Read more : Kind of just here (crowfriend journal) | Views : 249 | Replies : 3


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