YouTube therapists demonising people with NPD

I'm sure most of you will be aware that when you search for information on NPD you'll be met with a ton of results that are often very hostile towards people with NPD. This is very true on YouTube, where a bunch of grifter 'therapists' make videos like "Unmasking a Covert Narcissist Is Absolutely Dangerous. Just Run!" or "Narcissists: Wolves in Sheep's Clothing", and so on.

How does it make you feel to see that? The lack of respect for the fact that we didn't choose to be like this, or for the reasons why we might be like this, pisses me off. I can't help the way my brain was wired.

The BS annoys me too. Lots of talk of people with NPD 'targeting their victims'. Do they think that when we're meeting people we're mentally rubbing our hands together with anticipation while we try to identify which person's life we're going to ruin? Yeah that's not how it works, at all.

The hypocrisy of these people who chose a supposedly altruistic profession sitting there spewing a bunch of dehumanising BS just so people in the comments - who always seem to be women for some reason - can use it to justify why their boyfriend dumped them because there's no way it could be their fault.

I've seen similar with those with other PD's too. And it's not just YouTube either. Sure there are those who have genuinely been in a relationship with someone with a PD, but I agree there seems to be a thing where the relationship has gone south and they are not willing to admit or accept that a relationship is a two-way street, and they start looking for "excuses" as to why it didn't work, and look to blame the other party and label them with a personality disorder. Rather than accept any responsibility at all for their own actions and contributions to the relationship failing. Or maybe they just were two people not meant to be together. But I suspect the percentage of people who have actually been in a relationship with someone with a PD is not as high as those on the internet would have us believe.

Spaced wrote:How does it make you feel to see that? The lack of respect for the fact that we didn't choose to be like this, or for the reasons why we might be like this, pisses me off. I can't help the way my brain was wired.

This is something that very few outside of the world of actually understanding personality disorders seems to get. That the behaviours are not intended maliciously, but are a learned protective response to having dealt with a lifetime of trauma, threats, instability and abuse. And you're often not conscious of even doing it.

I have a different PD. Mine is not demonised as much as NPD is, and I have a different range of behaviours I get accused being difficult with, but I hear you. Bear in mind too that a lot of those so-called professionals are not worth their salt anyhow. But they are of course going to largely entertain only the perspective of the person or target audience sitting in front of them.

Any topic that's popular, expect "experts" to chime in to broaden their brand and make $$$.

You must be a hippie.
To answer the question, yeah, it's how I first learned about personality disorders but I think my perception changed over the years. And a part of me thinks it's not the wisest idea to get diagnosed with a PD but maybe it's the other way around and I'm not thinking in a completely healthy way.

I’ll be completely honest, I don’t really care personally because I don’t go around talking about any diagnosis I’ve had and I just see that as someone’s opinion about me anyways. I think psychology in general is a bit of a pseudoscience to begin with but with that said when you break down what it actually means to be diagnosed with something like narcissistic personality disorder…. They don’t give perfectly healthy and nice charming people who get along and are perfect little saints with something like that.

Narcissists are combative, controlling, argumentative, difficult and in many cases physically and mentally abusive.. This is just the reality, it’s not a mental health disorder as much as it is your $#%^ personality that you can’t seem to change. It’s pretty dramatic and unprofessional for a clinical psychologist or whatever to say $#%^ like covert narcissists masks run. It’s stupid actually but NPD as is the case with all cluster b disorders have earned a lot of stigma.