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Humiliation question

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Humiliation question

Postby Manners73 » Tue May 12, 2020 4:44 pm

My therapist suggested that I seem to enjoy to humiliate people.

I've never thought of this before to be honest.

It's because I told her that I'm entertained by people's reactions to what I say when I confront them.

Does anyone here get this?

I know I'm not explaining this very well but I've never thought about it before.

It's new.
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby Esmoke » Tue May 12, 2020 10:55 pm

Me? Not really, the only time I get confrontational or ‘grandiose’ is when I feel threatened or attacked, otherwise I just want to be left alone. I’m more worried about being embarrassed myself, I wonder if this is causing you any issues, or if the shrink is making an issue out of it?
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed May 13, 2020 6:38 am

Manners73 wrote:
It's new.


At least you got there in the end. There's a huge amount of fun to be had with this, so ignore your therapist and enjoy it. Word of caution: everyone creates a persona in their head of the way they think people see then. Breaking this is fun, but will create resentment and hostility, so pick your targets with care.

If you want to camouflage it, try putting people's stated principles to test. You can watch them squirm while being encouraging.

You can also tell your therapist that everyone does it, which is why they get a secret thrill when their friends fail at things.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby Manners73 » Wed May 13, 2020 3:52 pm

Lol

I think I'll video call her to tell that little nugget.
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby Manners73 » Wed May 13, 2020 4:05 pm

I'm really torn about this therapy business.

I know I need help because I'm sick of getting in trouble at work but I can't see how she can help me. I just keep saying things about me that seem to be a problem for other people but what I'm quite happy about.

Im in constant conflict.
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby Akuma » Thu May 14, 2020 5:08 am

Manners73 wrote:My therapist suggested that I seem to enjoy to humiliate people.
I've never thought of this before to be honest.
It's because I told her that I'm entertained by people's reactions to what I say when I confront them.
Does anyone here get this?
I know I'm not explaining this very well but I've never thought about it before.
It's new.


Hmm not at all no. I wouldnt see the point in humiliating people.
You said you wanted to go to another therapist - is the waiting list long?
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Thu May 14, 2020 6:40 am

It's not my business if people feel it's worth addressing things or not; my only concern is that if you ever place yourself in a position where you were to be vulnerable with a therapist, that you make sure they're not triggered by you or your behaviors (no idea if I'm repeating myself)

Part of the ethics that a therapist is taught, is that they need to refer clients elsewhere if they find the person triggering because it can take away their objectivity and possibly cause them to take their issues out on the person they're working with - and no one should have to experience that.

It ends up being counter-productive or even damaging.
Sometimes their pride stops them from doing the ethical thing of referring you to someone else, whilst others aren't aware it's happening - and some, I guess, are straight ###$ up and think they're God.

A few years ago I had one who was deeply triggered by me.
It was like he was talking through me to someone else and putting words in my mouth that were not only degrading but literally the opposite of what I was saying.
If I'd believed what he was saying, it would have been relatively injurious to my cause.
It escalated to the point that I could have gotten him fired if I'd brought in a complaint (and provided people would have believed me).
When he took things too far, he asked me what I'd like; I requested that he transfer me to someone else to which he did immediately... and i lived happily ever after because I got a therapist who can be intellectual rather than feelings-based and tell me about different research and allows me to ask questions like I'm in a psychology class - and give me actual things to do / "assignments" that I can apply to my life, rather than just talking about my feelings or what has happened the whole time - or having feedback go in one ear and out the other (everyone has different needs)
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby Esmoke » Thu May 14, 2020 10:59 am

DaturaInnoxia wrote:It's not my business if people feel it's worth addressing things or not; my only concern is that if you ever place yourself in a position where you were to be vulnerable with a therapist, that you make sure they're not triggered by you or your behaviors (no idea if I'm repeating myself)

Part of the ethics that a therapist is taught, is that they need to refer clients elsewhere if they find the person triggering because it can take away their objectivity and possibly cause them to take their issues out on the person they're working with - and no one should have to experience that.

It ends up being counter-productive or even damaging.
Sometimes their pride stops them from doing the ethical thing of referring you to someone else, whilst others aren't aware it's happening - and some, I guess, are straight ###$ up and think they're God.

A few years ago I had one who was deeply triggered by me.
It was like he was talking through me to someone else and putting words in my mouth that were not only degrading but literally the opposite of what I was saying.
If I'd believed what he was saying, it would have been relatively injurious to my cause.
It escalated to the point that I could have gotten him fired if I'd brought in a complaint (and provided people would have believed me).
When he took things too far, he asked me what I'd like; I requested that he transfer me to someone else to which he did immediately... and i lived happily ever after because I got a therapist who can be intellectual rather than feelings-based and tell me about different research and allows me to ask questions like I'm in a psychology class - and give me actual things to do / "assignments" that I can apply to my life, rather than just talking about my feelings or what has happened the whole time - or having feedback go in one ear and out the other (everyone has different needs)



I’ve experienced the same thing, it felt like we were having two separate conversations it was very stressful. I felt like I was being gaslighted. He would misinterpret everything I said and read intentions that did not exist. He was very pompous. This can easily cause you to have more issues
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Thu May 14, 2020 2:00 pm

Not ideal, bro, not ideal. Life on life's terms.

With my experience I felt at odds with the individual from the get go.

Originally, I dealt with him when he facilitated a couple of group therapy sessions and he'd use way too many personal examples involving his childhood and the many ways women have hurt him (an extremely inappropiate level of self-disclosure in a therapeutic setting for many reasons).

The part I played in the experience was agreeing to work with him.
Even when I was I waiting for a referral for one on one, all I hoped for was "not him"

That level of discomfort is not how you should start off with a therapist.

I remember him complaining about "those types of girls with their tits hanging out of their shirts" and then looked at me, eyes widened as if shocked by what he just said, and then exclaimed, "Uh oh. I shouldn't have said that." I have to admit that I was entertained by that level of (still relatively innocent) faux pas.

When he started directing his criticisms of women at me it became a problem and soon after that, he ended up in a situation that led to him giving me a referral to someone else.

I was actually really proud of myself because I was able to recognize that he was triggered and that it wasn't personal which is extremely rare in regards to me experiencing personal issues with others.

On a tangent (of course),
Sometimes I get weird invasive images or feelings that come up for people, and with him, I saw him naked wearing nothing but a diaper with a thing on his head and a rattle too like in the fetish porn, lolz.
I found it strangely entertaining and fascinating to try to psychoanalyze him - and myself given that babies freak me right out (after I stopped working with him, of course).
They collect information to stock pile in their souls, saying, "I will tuck this into my subconscious for later use."  ~ unknown
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Re: Humiliation question

Postby Manners73 » Thu May 14, 2020 2:59 pm

Akuma wrote:
Manners73 wrote:My therapist suggested that I seem to enjoy to humiliate people.
I've never thought of this before to be honest.
It's because I told her that I'm entertained by people's reactions to what I say when I confront them.
Does anyone here get this?
I know I'm not explaining this very well but I've never thought about it before.
It's new.


Hmm not at all no. I wouldnt see the point in humiliating people.
You said you wanted to go to another therapist - is the waiting list long?


I'm not that bothered about changing my therapist but she told me that she's not qualified to deal with me and she told me that she'll refer me on. I don't know how long it'll hat will be. But she did say that she'll keep seeing me until someone comes along.

I never thought I was actively humiliating people on purpose. I just get a kick out of winding people up. Maybe she's just a bit sensitive.
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