Our partner

How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Spaced » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:57 pm

I have indulged in power/revenge fantasies probably since my teens (that's decades ago) as a sort of mental comfort blanket. I don't think there is any particular trigger, I just find myself slipping into these fantasies on a regular basis.

When I have these fantasies it's almost like I'm on a high, and when I snap out of it it's like I'm having a comedown back to reality. Although I usually enjoy these fantasies in the moment, I also feel a level of disgust towards myself for even having them in the first place. I also hate the discrepancy between who I am in my fantasies and who I am in real life.

I would be deeply embarrassed and ashamed to admit to someone's face that I have such fantasies on a frequent basis, because no normal healthy person would need to do such a thing.

But I am not normal. I am a narcissist. Are these fantasies basically hard wired into my brain as part of the disorder?
Spaced
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 118
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2015 10:55 pm
Local time: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby AProphet » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:34 pm

Spaced wrote:I have indulged in power/revenge fantasies probably since my teens (that's decades ago) as a sort of mental comfort blanket. I don't think there is any particular trigger, I just find myself slipping into these fantasies on a regular basis.

When I have these fantasies it's almost like I'm on a high, and when I snap out of it it's like I'm having a comedown back to reality. Although I usually enjoy these fantasies in the moment, I also feel a level of disgust towards myself for even having them in the first place. I also hate the discrepancy between who I am in my fantasies and who I am in real life.

I would be deeply embarrassed and ashamed to admit to someone's face that I have such fantasies on a frequent basis, because no normal healthy person would need to do such a thing.

But I am not normal. I am a narcissist. Are these fantasies basically hard wired into my brain as part of the disorder?


Vaknin says that yes, they are a feature. He even calls the italic part "grandiosity gap". And that those 'fantasy worlds' your inhabiting increase when you get more detached,psychotic.

You dont have to be ashamed of who you are, nothing wrong with indulging fantasies. We all have fantasies, childish thoughts were ashamed of and are terrified that someone will read our mind and discover were having that thought. This is true for each and every one of us. Theres no reason to be ashamed, or feel bad and that you dont belong. The light shines on all equally.

What Jung says is that you should study the delusion, psychoanalize, to find what it tells about the patient. Care to give us specifics of your fantasies? Its an anonymous forum, nothing to worry about.
AProphet
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 307
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:02 pm
Local time: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Akuma » Thu Feb 13, 2020 5:39 am

As a schizoid I dont understand why you would be disgusted about having a fantasy life. I would think if anything, that disgust would be the place to start trying to understand a mechanism. Fantasies themselves arent a problem as long as you dont space our all the time... quite the contrary apparently, as they seem to serve an important function for your well-being. So the boring reality is probably they would disappear once your internal reality has shifted in such a way that they have become unneccesary. Until then, from my perspective its probably better not to be hard on yourself and see them as something that is helpful to you.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
Akuma
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1701
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:56 pm
Local time: Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:18 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Feb 14, 2020 8:50 am

@OP

As with most things, there's a positive to every negative. Instead of trying to find a way of getting rid of them, why not focus them on stuff you want to achieve?

Point your anger and revenge creativity towards solving problems that you're having. Then, it's not some bizarre inner monologue; it's visualisation to reach a goal.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
justonemoreperson
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 11136
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:02 am
Local time: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Esmoke » Fri Feb 14, 2020 10:57 am

Fantasies of revenge and violence invoke negative feelings and unwanted aggression I try to steer out of them as soon as I catch myself slipping into them. I used to space out and have day dreams/fantasy thoughts usually grandiose but harmless nonetheless. I liked these they had a soothing calming effect, I wish I was more in touch with that mechanism still to be honest but I’ve lost connection with it over the years it seems.

For me controlling your thoughts is a challenge, first doing things to occupy your brain help, second it’s practice. Every time you slip into an unwanted fantasy try and pull yourself out of it, like anything else you will devolve this ability over time
Esmoke
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jan 22, 2020 10:59 pm
Local time: Tue Feb 18, 2020 6:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Narcissistic Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 35 guests