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How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

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How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Spaced » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:57 pm

I have indulged in power/revenge fantasies probably since my teens (that's decades ago) as a sort of mental comfort blanket. I don't think there is any particular trigger, I just find myself slipping into these fantasies on a regular basis.

When I have these fantasies it's almost like I'm on a high, and when I snap out of it it's like I'm having a comedown back to reality. Although I usually enjoy these fantasies in the moment, I also feel a level of disgust towards myself for even having them in the first place. I also hate the discrepancy between who I am in my fantasies and who I am in real life.

I would be deeply embarrassed and ashamed to admit to someone's face that I have such fantasies on a frequent basis, because no normal healthy person would need to do such a thing.

But I am not normal. I am a narcissist. Are these fantasies basically hard wired into my brain as part of the disorder?
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby AProphet » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:34 pm

Spaced wrote:I have indulged in power/revenge fantasies probably since my teens (that's decades ago) as a sort of mental comfort blanket. I don't think there is any particular trigger, I just find myself slipping into these fantasies on a regular basis.

When I have these fantasies it's almost like I'm on a high, and when I snap out of it it's like I'm having a comedown back to reality. Although I usually enjoy these fantasies in the moment, I also feel a level of disgust towards myself for even having them in the first place. I also hate the discrepancy between who I am in my fantasies and who I am in real life.

I would be deeply embarrassed and ashamed to admit to someone's face that I have such fantasies on a frequent basis, because no normal healthy person would need to do such a thing.

But I am not normal. I am a narcissist. Are these fantasies basically hard wired into my brain as part of the disorder?


Vaknin says that yes, they are a feature. He even calls the italic part "grandiosity gap". And that those 'fantasy worlds' your inhabiting increase when you get more detached,psychotic.

You dont have to be ashamed of who you are, nothing wrong with indulging fantasies. We all have fantasies, childish thoughts were ashamed of and are terrified that someone will read our mind and discover were having that thought. This is true for each and every one of us. Theres no reason to be ashamed, or feel bad and that you dont belong. The light shines on all equally.

What Jung says is that you should study the delusion, psychoanalize, to find what it tells about the patient. Care to give us specifics of your fantasies? Its an anonymous forum, nothing to worry about.
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Akuma » Thu Feb 13, 2020 5:39 am

As a schizoid I dont understand why you would be disgusted about having a fantasy life. I would think if anything, that disgust would be the place to start trying to understand a mechanism. Fantasies themselves arent a problem as long as you dont space our all the time... quite the contrary apparently, as they seem to serve an important function for your well-being. So the boring reality is probably they would disappear once your internal reality has shifted in such a way that they have become unneccesary. Until then, from my perspective its probably better not to be hard on yourself and see them as something that is helpful to you.
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Feb 14, 2020 8:50 am

@OP

As with most things, there's a positive to every negative. Instead of trying to find a way of getting rid of them, why not focus them on stuff you want to achieve?

Point your anger and revenge creativity towards solving problems that you're having. Then, it's not some bizarre inner monologue; it's visualisation to reach a goal.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Esmoke » Fri Feb 14, 2020 10:57 am

Fantasies of revenge and violence invoke negative feelings and unwanted aggression I try to steer out of them as soon as I catch myself slipping into them. I used to space out and have day dreams/fantasy thoughts usually grandiose but harmless nonetheless. I liked these they had a soothing calming effect, I wish I was more in touch with that mechanism still to be honest but I’ve lost connection with it over the years it seems.

For me controlling your thoughts is a challenge, first doing things to occupy your brain help, second it’s practice. Every time you slip into an unwanted fantasy try and pull yourself out of it, like anything else you will devolve this ability over time
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby MeAgain » Thu Mar 05, 2020 2:07 pm

It’s tedious to stay on the straight and narrow when my instincts tell me to lay waste to the World. Oh, what an existence!
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby CuteLoneCat » Thu May 07, 2020 8:28 pm

I do this too. It's automatic, when my brain isn't occupied with something else it seems to switch to fantasising. Sometimes I catch myself at work smiling when in a fantasy, quickly stopping the smile and hoping nobody saw.

AProphet wrote:Care to give us specifics of your fantasies? Its an anonymous forum, nothing to worry about.

Simple example of such a omnipotent fantasy is I am suddenly surrounded by a pack of wolves growling at me. I somehow know exactly how to behave and know to turn to the pack leader and somehow this wolf sees I am strong and respectful of him and respects me back and they don't harm me. (in writing it seems pretty ridiculus, somehow somehow somehow it all works out miraculously and i feel all is well)

Having these fantasies empower me, I can handle anything and I feel strong. I think the explanation for them can be found in object relation theory. The baby sees the world as either all good or all bad. When mother is present all is good, when she is gone all is bad. And baby's defence against the bad is by sort of locking it out of himself, in his imagination having full control of the situation so the bad cannot reach him. So these omnipotent fantasies are a defence mechanism.
I'm certainly no expert on these thing but to me this seems to fit.

Unfortunately this defence mechanism isn't working so well for me anymore. I often feel this deep feeling of guilt, I can't explain it well, like I am the most horrible person in the world.

Spaced wrote:But I am not normal. I am a narcissist. Are these fantasies basically hard wired into my brain as part of the disorder?

I don't have NPD but schizoid PD, perhaps this is something PD 's have in common.

Spaced wrote:I would be deeply embarrassed and ashamed to admit to someone's face that I have such fantasies on a frequent basis, because no normal healthy person would need to do such a thing.

I have never told anyone (yet). I hope to feel able to tell my therapist soon.

Thank you for posting this, it's good to know there are others with this.
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby saucygirl31 » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:04 pm

set up a play by play. take the steps everyday. small wins a win.

what do u want.. unlimited cash and animal sex while you choke her out?

take it one step at a time. get a job and slick back ur hair.

what do u want.. total control of ur SO?

learn them. spend your time trying to learn them instead of thinking about it.

before i sleep i usually run through my day and see how i could have improved. then im like okay tomorrow ill adjust etc then sleep like baby
- ur gril saucy
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby voidance » Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:08 pm

@Spaced, have you been diagnosed with NPD? Do you just consider yourself to be narcissistic?

This seems like the words out of someone who has obsessive compulsive thoughts about these power fantasies and perhaps being a narcissist rather than a PD.

Firstly, normalise your behaviour. Thinking about something and actually doing something, or going out of your way to plan an action to make your fantasy a reality, are two different things.

Everyone has fantasies of power and doing harmful things to someone or taking revenge. They are completely normal and a healthy way of letting your brain come to terms with social interaction that may have hurt you. However, when you start writing a 400 page manifesto on how you intend to take revenge is probably when you need help to deal with underlying feelings.

However, if you were that willing, I doubt you would ask for help to not have fantasies if you are already making plans for them to become reality. You would pose the question as help in not making your fantasies a reality.

Seek a therapist and use CBD and DBT to normalise your thoughts and perhaps help with some of your anxiety. They may even suggest going on a mild antidepressant and diazepam.

This may help with dealing with anxiety around social interaction.

Honestly, we all are different people on the outside to what we are on the inside. If we all went around saying exactly what we think about people, it would lead to conflict.
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Re: How can I stop indulging in power fantasies?

Postby Spaced » Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:28 pm

No, I am not obsessed by them at all and rarely think about them. I have no social anxiety either, not sure where you got that from.
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