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narcissist fluctuations in mood

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narcissist fluctuations in mood

Postby Ubinix800 » Wed Dec 18, 2019 12:00 am

Hi all, been posting a lot lately mainly out of wanting to understand myself and hopefully share with others.

This is something about having this that's probably the thing that bothers me the most (I really mean that it's horrible). After all the years of wondering why I have mood swings now I know. People with this supposedly have mood swings related to attention/lack of attention, introspection, external life events etc. I guess this applies more to the compensatory type but could also extend to all types as well.

Take from online:
"Alternates between feelings of emptiness and deadness and states of excitement and excess energy [Forman]"

"The average person high in the trait of narcissism, Dawood and Pincus argue, isn’t particularly likely to become depressed, but should depressive feelings set in, they would be experienced as plain sadness. The person high in pathological narcissism, by contrast, should be subject to feelings of a particular kind of depression “characterized by anhedonia [feeling empty and useless], feelings of worthlessness, nihilism, and boredom with life." The Penn State researchers believed that those high in pathological narcissism, with its dependence on feeling important, would show variations in mood corresponding to their perceptions of whether other people were recognizing and applauding them. These variations should occur on a bigger scale than the normal variations in mood most people feel. Those high in pathological narcissism should also show greater emotional lability, or more frequent variations in positive and negative moods."

What goes up must come down and I mean that describes me to a T, most of the time shame, emptiness/lack of feeling, self-loathing (collapsing) thoughts, and sadness dominates my day, bar the short time I can okay about what's going on. Sometimes I'll be smiling, next minute slightly tearful, others irritable, edgy, stoic, down on my self, resentful, depressed etc. It's not as severe as in bpd, more like a mild case of the emotion fluctuations and not as intense but it's more emotionally liable than people who have very little to no narcissism, apparently anyway, from what I now know. Just how coverts will present in therapy for depression but leave as soon as the therapist validates them and sorts out there problems (which probably aren't as bad as they think inside their heads, it's easily to be down when your always absorbed in your own thinking and can't regulate that image of yourself in your head easily).

What are your thoughts, and how the hell do you deal with this?
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Re: narcissist fluctuations in mood

Postby Akuma » Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:39 am

The quote is funny, since oen of the most prominent explanations of depression is a narcissistic one, namely that you are devaluing an iedalized object and due internal repercussions you take the devaluation onto yourself. Freud describes this mechanism in Mourning and Melancholia 90 years ago. So while on the toplevel I think the distinction is funny, there is no explanation here why there would be emptiness and so on in pwNPD. But all these thigns seem rather close together anyways, Meltzers explanation of cyclothymic states for example is also about idealized objects but afair there it was about triumph over them or the lack thereof (?).
In any event, mood swings as whole seem to depend mostly on unconscious splitting - which is also why they cant just be put away, because the reasons for the splitting and the inner objects its pointed at isnt usually in your consciousness. You could argue as a person prone to ego-fragmentation questions of idealization and devaluation are not really my concern. But dealing with this is I would assume done in longterm therapy, as there is no dealing with this in any other way. The mechanism always splits botht he self and the object and your ability to deal with the whole is therefore hampered.
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Re: narcissist fluctuations in mood

Postby EllaBlack » Thu Dec 19, 2019 5:19 pm

Ubinix800 wrote:What are your thoughts, and how the hell do you deal with this?

What is it you want that you lack? What causes you to feel all of that pain?
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Re: narcissist fluctuations in mood

Postby MeAgain » Fri Dec 20, 2019 2:34 pm

On the few occasions when I'm not sad and bored I spend too much money and wonder why I can't pay my bills. This is a damned cruel trick life has played on us. Narcissists and money management deserves a whole thread for itself.
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