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NPD/DID

Postby Jebby0209 » Mon Dec 09, 2019 6:01 am

Just wondering if there's anyone here that has had a series of events and evidence come forward that they don't remember doing it thinking about (even sexual). I've had so many things come to light that I'm thinking I have DID. Is it possible to be completely confused as to how you could have possibly thought that way or done something so horrible and completely not remember any part of it? I know I have NPD but could I also be DID? I know Sam Vaknin describes severe NPD as DID but maybe he doesn't believe in DID?
Thoughts?
Just losing my mind here.
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby realityhere » Mon Dec 09, 2019 10:30 pm

Do you have an actual diagnosis of NPD from a professional therapist or psychologist? If not, you should be careful labeling yourself with a disorder you may not have.

DID is not a personality disorder per se (it used to be called multiple personality disorder back in the day), it is now regarded as a dissociative disorder. Such a disorder causes alts to arise and front in a host body, and the host is sometimes unaware of the alt's behavior, thus the dissociation. The feeling that someone else took over your mind and did things you're not aware of is very common with this disorder.
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby Akuma » Tue Dec 10, 2019 5:44 am

Jebby0209 wrote:Just wondering if there's anyone here that has had a series of events and evidence come forward that they don't remember doing it thinking about (even sexual). I've had so many things come to light that I'm thinking I have DID. Is it possible to be completely confused as to how you could have possibly thought that way or done something so horrible and completely not remember any part of it?


Is this the time to make a joke about not abusing alcohol?

Jokes aside though the anxiety you have about it isnt typical for DID nor NPD. If you feel you are getting unstabel though it is best to see a professional about it.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby AProphet » Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:01 pm

Jebby0209 wrote:Just wondering if there's anyone here that has had a series of events and evidence come forward that they don't remember doing it thinking about (even sexual). I've had so many things come to light that I'm thinking I have DID. Is it possible to be completely confused as to how you could have possibly thought that way or done something so horrible and completely not remember any part of it? I know I have NPD but could I also be DID? I know Sam Vaknin describes severe NPD as DID but maybe he doesn't believe in DID?
Thoughts?
Just losing my mind here.


In my experience NPD is a type of DID, a multiple personality. The personalities are: a barely existant true self and a prominent and powerful false self, that empoys primite defenses (projection, reinterpretation etc) . Thoughts memories and attitudes are seperate for the personalities. I found my interpretation of events and even memories dont agree with reality on several ocasions.

realityhere wrote:The feeling that someone else took over your mind and did things you're not aware of is very common with this disorder.


This is very true for NPD too becouse of the disociative processes and narcisistic rage.
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby covertunsure » Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:50 pm

As AProphet says, I think the False Self/True Self dichotomy might make NPD or pathological narcissism seem somewhat like DID, because grandiosity is projected onto the False Self and the "host" acts accordingly. But if that grandiosity is fragile (i.e. vulnerable narcissism) and the False Self is therefore not robust, one can pendulum-swing to the other side, the deflated "True Self", but since the True Self isn't fully developed or fleshed out, it is really just an approximation of a person with no real sense of worth, identity, or self-esteem. At least, that's how it plays out for me, but I apparently have more identity issues than most with pure NPD (I also have borderline traits).

I do feel like I have two different "personalities." One is "everything-is-great-and-everyone-loves-me covertunsure" and the other is "I hate everyone and everything and myself covertunsure." Maybe Jekyll and Hyde is more accurate. The shift into the latter is precipitated by a perceived rejection, slight, or narcissistic injury. But my default state these days is the latter. Perhaps it's a safety net to avoid further disappointment.

The most frustrating part of vulnerable narcissism/borderline disorders is the inability to self-soothe and having nothing to fall back on. There is simply no true self-esteem, so in effect your personality is dictated by those around you and you are at their mercy, which just makes everything all the more unbearable.

Akuma wrote:
Jebby0209 wrote:Just wondering if there's anyone here that has had a series of events and evidence come forward that they don't remember doing it thinking about (even sexual). I've had so many things come to light that I'm thinking I have DID. Is it possible to be completely confused as to how you could have possibly thought that way or done something so horrible and completely not remember any part of it?


Is this the time to make a joke about not abusing alcohol?

Jokes aside though the anxiety you have about it isnt typical for DID nor NPD. If you feel you are getting unstabel though it is best to see a professional about it.


Couldn't Jebby's "anxiety" be a masked form of shame? I think shame and anxiety go hand in hand. If shame is the reaction, e.g. "I'm not good enough/I did something that risks me being rejected from the social group," anxiety might be a natural subsequent sequelae: "I need to do something to remedy this."

Are you then saying NPD doesn't involve significant amounts of shame?
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby Akuma » Tue Dec 10, 2019 4:50 pm

Couldn't Jebby's "anxiety" be a masked form of shame? I think shame and anxiety go hand in hand. If shame is the reaction, e.g. "I'm not good enough/I did something that risks me being rejected from the social group," anxiety might be a natural subsequent sequelae: "I need to do something to remedy this."

Are you then saying NPD doesn't involve significant amounts of shame?


I understand her central complaint being amnesia. Amnesia is not a symptom of NPD, so you are going way off track with your associations.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby xdude » Tue Dec 10, 2019 5:12 pm

I am going to be a bit of a heretic here...

Cluster B is about how one dealt with an abusive upbringing. Psychopathy is an entirely different matter. How you dealt with it, and I don't mean one incident of abuse, I mean constant gas lighting, your feelings don't matter mine do (the parent), you were never good enough, I only care about you when you do something for me, etc... varies. Some kids go feck it. Some take it to heart. Some, try to keep on winning parental approval.

Disassociation is another way to cope.

Step #1, anyone telling you, you should feel like me because I am strong is utter BS. Not only are they not strong, but they are repeating your abuse, telling you the same message you already heard a million times over. They really aren't stronger though, just they had the benefit of being pampered that someone with a cluster B personality did not.
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby ViniStonemoss » Tue Dec 10, 2019 6:53 pm

xdude wrote:Cluster B is about how one dealt with an abusive upbringing.


Not really. Sometimes you just have not been set appropriate boundaries (entitlement), although it may be accompanied with emotional neglect, there is no proper abuse to speak of.

Conversely, some people who are coping with an abusive upbringing do not exhibit cluster B traits.

So there goes the theory.

xdude wrote:Step #1, anyone telling you, you should feel like me because I am strong is utter BS. Not only are they not strong, but they are repeating your abuse, telling you the same message you already heard a million times over. They really aren't stronger though, just they had the benefit of being pampered that someone with a cluster B personality did not.


Successful therapy is part emotional nurturing (reparenting), part taking responsibility though, focusing exclusively on one or the other is bound to be ineffective.
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby Jebby0209 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:25 pm

Is this the time to make a joke about not abusing alcohol?

Jokes aside though the anxiety you have about it isnt typical for DID nor NPD. If you feel you are getting unstabel though it is best to see a professional about it.[/quote]

I don't drink, I don't understand what is happening. We have found evidence that I have done drugs and I failed a drug test for weed. But I don't remember doing any drugs or smoking weed or talking to anyone about drugs of any nature.
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Re: NPD/DID

Postby Jebby0209 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:29 pm

AProphet wrote:
Jebby0209 wrote:Just wondering if there's anyone here that has had a series of events and evidence come forward that they don't remember doing it thinking about (even sexual). I've had so many things come to light that I'm thinking I have DID. Is it possible to be completely confused as to how you could have possibly thought that way or done something so horrible and completely not remember any part of it? I know I have NPD but could I also be DID? I know Sam Vaknin describes severe NPD as DID but maybe he doesn't believe in DID?
Thoughts?
Just losing my mind here.


In my experience NPD is a type of DID, a multiple personality. The personalities are: a barely existant true self and a prominent and powerful false self, that empoys primite defenses (projection, reinterpretation etc) . Thoughts memories and attitudes are seperate for the personalities. I found my interpretation of events and even memories dont agree with reality on several ocasions.

realityhere wrote:The feeling that someone else took over your mind and did things you're not aware of is very common with this disorder.


This is very true for NPD too becouse of the disociative processes and narcisistic rage.




I can see what you're saying. I'm not sure how to go about healing and bringing the two together, how do I heal if I can't remember what I did or how this came about?
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