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What are your intentions?

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What are your intentions?

Postby Manners73 » Sun Nov 24, 2019 4:38 pm

On a personal level I have good intentions but I find things turn to disaster quite easily if I don't follow a straight line.

Just wondering if people with NPD have this kind of issue or not.

I'm treading careful here because I don't know about this personality.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby SelfSerf » Sun Nov 24, 2019 9:25 pm

Well...intention is a quaint word when it comes to NPD.

The whole thought process of someone with narcissism is skewed because the rationalizations that go on through someone’s head are all to sheathe the true intentions to expell them from conscious awareness. That is because a lot of the times, the real underlying intentions might be looked down upon or completely invalidated and disallowwd by the superego.

I went through 25 years of life almost entirely convinced that I was the good guy, no matter my actions, often being completely obtuse to how my actions and dispositions affected others. As far as I was concerned, my ‘true’ intentions were always good. I truly grew up trying my best to see the good in everyone, probably because I had hidden away how little I actually
thought of myself.

Also, a very odd thing about NPD is that somehow, the disordered mind is capable of also righting any wrongs like that and sometimes overwriting history/facts (either temporarily for convenience or permanently basically gaslighting one’s own Self) to set the record of intentions always to the side of the narcissist.
“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby ZeroZ » Sun Nov 24, 2019 9:42 pm

I think of something OJ Simpson said in an interview about him showing up and smacking Nichol Simpson around and breaking up her party.

Something to the effect that he was mad at her for forcing him to act that way to help her see how she was screwing up her life. I can’t think of a better example of extreme narcissism justifying behavior.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby justonemoreperson » Mon Nov 25, 2019 8:46 am

SelfSerf wrote:
I went through 25 years of life almost entirely convinced that I was the good guy, no matter my actions, often being completely obtuse to how my actions and dispositions affected others.


I can relate to this. I don't go out of my way to have good intentions, but I do assume that I've not caused any harm, mainly because I under-estimate how my behaviour has affected people combined with a refusal to accept responsibility for it.

I'll assume that people like me and that if they say that a problem isn't a problem I'll assume it's all over with and everything's back to normal.

It's the grandiosity and narcissism. I know that I do it; sitting here and thinking about it, I know it happens, as there's too much evidence to deny it. But, I still don't really believe it. I still have the belief that people have over-reacted and I've been judged too harshly.

Having someone in hospital because you've driven them to attempt suicide, I still think, "It's their choice, they didn't have to stay," etc.

Even as I write this, I still can't see it as my fault. Well it's not; we all choose.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby Manners73 » Mon Nov 25, 2019 6:21 pm

Maybe my good intentions only serve myself then.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby covertunsure » Mon Nov 25, 2019 6:30 pm

I believe I usually have good intentions that are thwarted by my defective brain, anxiety, narcissism, etc., although sometimes my intentions are to impress others at their expense. For instance, I sometimes tell people I'm going on a vacation for 10 days and talk about the details of the trip. I get angry if they don't appear impressed. And I know (or assume) it may make them feel jealous, insecure, or feel bad, but I do it anyway.

So my intentions are mostly good, but colored by narcissism and insecurity. And sometimes if I'm retaliating against someone, my intentions are to right a perceived wrong and put myself back into the superior position. The intention isn't bad, per se; it's not sadistic just for the sake of sadism, although it can have the same effect. But mostly it is due to insecurity and the need to be the superior one.

justonemoreperson wrote:
SelfSerf wrote:
I went through 25 years of life almost entirely convinced that I was the good guy, no matter my actions, often being completely obtuse to how my actions and dispositions affected others.


I can relate to this. I don't go out of my way to have good intentions, but I do assume that I've not caused any harm, mainly because I under-estimate how my behaviour has affected people combined with a refusal to accept responsibility for it.

I'll assume that people like me and that if they say that a problem isn't a problem I'll assume it's all over with and everything's back to normal.

It's the grandiosity and narcissism. I know that I do it; sitting here and thinking about it, I know it happens, as there's too much evidence to deny it. But, I still don't really believe it. I still have the belief that people have over-reacted and I've been judged too harshly.

Having someone in hospital because you've driven them to attempt suicide, I still think, "It's their choice, they didn't have to stay," etc.

Even as I write this, I still can't see it as my fault. Well it's not; we all choose.


I can understand this to some degree. People with sociopathic/psychopathic traits tend to be unable and/or unwilling to accept responsibility for pretty much anything, and narcissists are quite similar, I think. I take some responsibility when I hurt someone, but I always try to find a way to blame them for some part of it, because responsibility is painful and exposes my imperfection and weakness.

justonemoreperson wrote:
SelfSerf wrote:
I went through 25 years of life almost entirely convinced that I was the good guy, no matter my actions, often being completely obtuse to how my actions and dispositions affected others.


I can relate to this. I don't go out of my way to have good intentions, but I do assume that I've not caused any harm, mainly because I under-estimate how my behaviour has affected people combined with a refusal to accept responsibility for it.

I'll assume that people like me and that if they say that a problem isn't a problem I'll assume it's all over with and everything's back to normal.

It's the grandiosity and narcissism. I know that I do it; sitting here and thinking about it, I know it happens, as there's too much evidence to deny it. But, I still don't really believe it. I still have the belief that people have over-reacted and I've been judged too harshly.

Having someone in hospital because you've driven them to attempt suicide, I still think, "It's their choice, they didn't have to stay," etc.

Even as I write this, I still can't see it as my fault. Well it's not; we all choose.


I can understand this to some degree. People with sociopathic/psychopathic traits tend to be unable and/or unwilling to accept responsibility for pretty much anything, and narcissists are quite similar, I think. I take some responsibility when I hurt someone, but I always try to find a way to blame them for some part of it, because responsibility is painful and exposes my imperfection and weakness.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby justonemoreperson » Tue Nov 26, 2019 6:18 am

Manners73 wrote:Maybe my good intentions only serve myself then.



Don't kick yourself; everyone's the same.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby Manners73 » Sat Nov 30, 2019 3:09 pm

Yeah that's why it's good to come here.

It helps me sort out the intricacies that play havoc in my mind.
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Re: What are your intentions?

Postby Reaper » Tue Dec 03, 2019 10:21 am

My intentions are to satisfy me and me only. I don't give a $#%^ about anybody else. You get in my way and I'll take you down. I don't care who you are. I'll find a way to get to you if I think it's worth the effort.
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