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NPD perspective what will realy help ?

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NPD perspective what will realy help ?

Postby MeMyselfMaureen » Thu Oct 17, 2019 6:54 pm

So I am the SO to a workaholic narsaccist. When it was just me in the firering line I didn't mind I know my NPD has issues of his own and he needed to take them out on some one. I am DID (aka multiple personality) so when things got bad I would just switch. I could cope.

But recently the controling behavior has been moved onto our daughter. She is not equiped to deal with this and doesnt understand why daddy flips between loving and bullying.

I dont want to break up our marriage but if things keep going this way (tageting daughter) then I will for her sake.

What can I do to help my husband he wont seek help.

If you could honestly talk to your SO's about what you need. What would it be?
Grace (host) Mo (protector) Peter (child) Elspeth (child) Midnight (unkown) Shadow (fragment, grief holder, toddler)
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Re: NPD perspective what will realy help ?

Postby AProphet » Fri Oct 18, 2019 9:00 pm

MeMyselfMaureen wrote:So I am the SO to a workaholic narsaccist. When it was just me in the firering line I didn't mind I know my NPD has issues of his own and he needed to take them out on some one. I am DID (aka multiple personality) so when things got bad I would just switch. I could cope.

But recently the controling behavior has been moved onto our daughter. She is not equiped to deal with this and doesnt understand why daddy flips between loving and bullying.

I dont want to break up our marriage but if things keep going this way (tageting daughter) then I will for her sake.

What can I do to help my husband he wont seek help.

If you could honestly talk to your SO's about what you need. What would it be?


Any difference in behavior causes a shame reaction in the narcissistic parent. They naturally treat their offspring as extensions. You need to accept the child as it is, all its strenghts and weaknesses, for a healthy upbringing. Challenge your husband and explain that, see how he reacts. Warning, criticism might upset him.
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Re: NPD perspective what will realy help ?

Postby Stillface » Sat Oct 19, 2019 8:57 am

Wow, that sounds hard. If he is highly narcissistic he may not listen to your explanations. I fear you will not be able to protect your daughter always. I work with people who are going through this and its very tough. You may decide to leave both for yourself AND your daughter. get support and maybe go on a carer forum as well as this one - there are FB groups for partners. I wish you well.
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