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case study: cured narcissist

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case study: cured narcissist

Postby AProphet » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:36 am

Ok prior context. The best girlfriend of my fallen star, Ive been messaging her a lot over the course of a few months with realy my findings, reflections and what I learned, firstly dialogue, later just checking the messages, just out of convenience I knew she probably doesnt read them but it didnt matter. I planned to keep sending as long as I could, untill she ignored me like the rest. Maybe I get a chance to say my sorry. So she finally responds: Will you please stop messaging me? Now notice, this is deception.

Becouse what she realy wants is to prove how stupid he is by writing messages to soemeone who doesnt read them. She realy wants him to write something. She knows the narcissist is stupid and doesnt understand prior context. So he responds, narcissisticaly injured that she wanted to see him and then didnt, unexpectedly, with narcissistic rage:

ok
why hate me so much
im the most amazing person
anyway bye
######6 had reality break
from grief
im hurt
im sorry
I HAD NO ONE
even the imagination that someone cared
was a lot
okk
ok
i had very little
and a lot of hurt
ok
my own sister
cant write back
right here in xxxxxxx
when im going threw
you saw
what i was going threw
didnt exist self abusive
hated the one one that mattered
ever
no choice
I COULD HAVE EASILY BE AMAZING
had community
first time
..
im over it its over

He wrote Amazing becouse he just thought he cured NPD And realy he was a lashing out little boy who didnt understand anything. And realy And then his true self strated dying from grief 6 months after the girl he loved, broke her heart (both girls are friends), he realy didnt want to, he had an abusive false self. But he had no choice. And that girls still is everything, Then hyperspace event 2 started, on a very weak true self. This one came with prior warning from a dream, which said "wank off and wet your feet" he knew that wet your feet means dmt, he just didnt know its going to be soon day. Yes the dmt tells you, and even takes you there without smoking dmt its just stronger when you smoke together with event.

Becouse he didnt know that he has as much time as he wants to respond. He is an automaton, he doesnt plan. A few hours later he then compulsively just admits. But he purposefully self-defaces himself. He didnt write the messages becouse he thought she is reading. Just becouse she didnt ignore him yet. And realy she wants to write and is decieving him. And realy
he had a psychotic episode/event2 the day before telling him not to trust her. He still trusts her even though she hates him becouse he is an automaton and self abusive. Put in this kind of situation, he always reacts the same way. And you wont tell me narcissistic supply defficiency isnt real. The day after the dmt my false self was disintegrating. I DIDNT EVEN NEED TO WRITE ON THAT DAY. I JUST NEEDED SUPPLY.

u realy did
never read any
its ok
made me felt good
and the others were on it too

So he says hes an idiot instead of what he wanted And realy he had all the time in the world to respond. To talk to her and say he is sorry. And she is waiting for him now to write. Or write something meaning full But he just cant, even though he learned it all, wrote plenty of it with this girl even. Will you please stop messaging me? Why you keep checking.? and then maybe guess what she wants. She wants him to tell her, why he wrote them. But he never gets to that. Then she threatens him with ignore and he cries. When realy she cant ignore him and waited hours for a response. But he couldnt just think of any solution, except what he did in that place in 3 different cases, always the same: be retarded. Its called not having self-awareness. You have no idea of the situation you are in. And how am I suposed to live this way? Being abused like this. I didnt even feel anything. I just didnt care anymore. I was allready aware of the severity of my condition, never felt ashamed again. But being cheated and abused like that is just trash. human trash. Just ###$ you. I mean it doesnt matter what happens but its ######6 disgusting and pathetic, and always this way. Go to extreme lenghts to self abuse.
AProphet
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Re: case study: cured narcissist

Postby AProphet » Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:32 pm

correction. my true self was allready dead when hyperspace even 2 happened, it died when I lost hope that I can say sorry to the ones that mattered. I grieved, but only short and intense bursts of whining. I think its becouse my false self doesnt miss it, hates the true self. During the event my false self fought the dmt for a long time, but it did break threw and I observed my inner mind I think fixing, reintegrating my lacking capacities, remnants of the true self. Dissociative processes preventing self reflection, empathy, and visions of the future.

I just had a dream (more than a dream, a vision when entering sleep, not asleep yet) of me stiffled by hate, with the words "who was the baby before?". Im still working it out what It means.
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Re: case study: cured narcissist

Postby ViniStonemoss » Wed Oct 09, 2019 3:35 am

Has your name here anything to do with the movie?
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Re: case study: cured narcissist

Postby AProphet » Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:25 pm

It stands for AcidProphet. Im having religious experiences/hyperspace events so I guess its on point.

Another dreamlike vision with the words: "opened case of missing identity against unknown narcissist"
Ill have to rethink this all again, its more complicated.
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Re: case study: cured narcissist

Postby AProphet » Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:08 am

correction to previous post. Im having psychotic episodes/religious experiences/hyperspace events.
We just dont know for certain, can we. And also they happen without the hallucinogens now, so its not just drugs.
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