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What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

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What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby hurtforever » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:20 am

Last night my ex was being verbally abusive as usual. I've had years of abuse and now he is abusing our child too, so I put a stop to it and I want him away from us! Anyway he started sending horrible messages and I decided to send him one last message before I blocked his number. He absolutely hates his dad, I think the reason why he has npd is because of his dad, horrible things happened during his childhood and now he is trying to be like his dad and doing what his dad did. Anyway I sent him a message saying that he was just a lost little boy, his dad never loved him and that no one can blame him as anyone would have left him (his dad left him when he was younger and even though they kept in touch he always felt neglected and abandoned as his dad was more interested in women), I also told him no one loves him. I then blocked him, just as he was writing another message.

So, I guess my question is, will he finally leave me and our child (who he never cared about and when he does it's to show off to other people) alone? Or will he try to contact me? Get revenge? How do you think the narcissist felt when I told him what I did? I feel scared and fear that something will happen to me, my child or a member of my family, so I need to prepare myself.
Thank you
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby ZeroZ » Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:09 am

Sounds like the abuse is a two way a street to me.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby Akuma » Mon Sep 09, 2019 1:17 pm

Apparently a common symptom of NPD is clairvoyance.
Jokes aside though, I am still baffled after all the years here what makes so many females come here and ask questions about their husbands, boyfriends, or families, thinking we would somehow be able to answer their questions about all these people we have never met.

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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby xdude » Mon Sep 09, 2019 2:48 pm

Akuma wrote:...I am still baffled after all the years here what makes so many females come here and ask questions about their husbands, boyfriends, or families, thinking we would somehow be able to answer their questions about all these people we have never met.


For whatever it's worth it was posts like these on the HPD forum that prompted the opening of the Significant Others Family & Friends forum, the only significant difference being it was mostly males asking about their wives, girlfriends, etc.

@hurtforever -

You can also ask your questions on the Significant Others Family & Friends forum, or I can link this there for you if you prefer. You may not get any answers there either. On that forum the questions often tend to turn toward 'why did you choose this person?' versus a focus on 'what is going on with them?'

Which comes back to Akuma's point. If you can't figure out what is going on his head/heart, and you know him directly, our guesses are probably worse than yours.
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Read the forum rules before posting here. If you are having any doubts about what you are posting, if you are thinking in the back of your mind, "I am going to want to delete this, or these details, later", remove those details, or step back and don't post until you are sure.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby AProphet » Fri Sep 13, 2019 11:17 pm

hurtforever wrote:Last night my ex was being verbally abusive as usual. I've had years of abuse and now he is abusing our child too, so I put a stop to it and I want him away from us! Anyway he started sending horrible messages and I decided to send him one last message before I blocked his number. He absolutely hates his dad, I think the reason why he has npd is because of his dad, horrible things happened during his childhood and now he is trying to be like his dad and doing what his dad did. Anyway I sent him a message saying that he was just a lost little boy, his dad never loved him and that no one can blame him as anyone would have left him (his dad left him when he was younger and even though they kept in touch he always felt neglected and abandoned as his dad was more interested in women), I also told him no one loves him. I then blocked him, just as he was writing another message.

So, I guess my question is, will he finally leave me and our child (who he never cared about and when he does it's to show off to other people) alone? Or will he try to contact me? Get revenge? How do you think the narcissist felt when I told him what I did? I feel scared and fear that something will happen to me, my child or a member of my family, so I need to prepare myself.
Thank you


Hi. I apologize for the others, this is a forum for pwNPD and they just have no ability to care or empathise with you. Your post sounds realy confused, like your still in shock from what happened. It was difficult to understand at first, becouse you were referencing 3 people and the spiral led to dad of his dad (your husbands father).

I dont know wether he will leave you alone, even thought you made it clear you want no contact. The narcissist feels no shame and if he decides he still needs you (purely for his own needs) you might see him hoovering.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby ViniStonemoss » Sun Sep 15, 2019 9:09 pm

HF,

just want to add to Prophet's post, people with personality disorders can be very reactive.

So the "no one loves you" type of comment is likely to get a negative reaction, retaliation even, out of most people with PD, not just NPD. I'm not excusing, just explaining.

If you genuinely want to be left alone, try fully ignoring the person (find ways in yourself not to react to provocations or abusive baits) on top of blocking them in every way possible.

Good of you to try and protect your child from further abuse though. Another way you can help protect and raise healthy children is by trying to figure out what attracts you to temperamental partners, so that they can model their confidence and insight into themselves after yours.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby KingPingX » Thu Sep 19, 2019 7:29 pm

Do you think provoking the pwNPD in that situation and shutting him up by blocking him is the smartest way to deal with it? It probably would leave him frustrated and angry.

Well no contact surely is the best option. But provoking and making him feel bad is no good idea I think.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby synchronicity » Sat Sep 21, 2019 4:59 pm

hurtforever wrote:Last night my ex was being verbally abusive as usual. I've had years of abuse and now he is abusing our child too, so I put a stop to it and I want him away from us! Anyway he started sending horrible messages and I decided to send him one last message before I blocked his number. He absolutely hates his dad, I think the reason why he has npd is because of his dad, horrible things happened during his childhood and now he is trying to be like his dad and doing what his dad did. Anyway I sent him a message saying that he was just a lost little boy, his dad never loved him and that no one can blame him as anyone would have left him (his dad left him when he was younger and even though they kept in touch he always felt neglected and abandoned as his dad was more interested in women), I also told him no one loves him. I then blocked him, just as he was writing another message.

So, I guess my question is, will he finally leave me and our child (who he never cared about and when he does it's to show off to other people) alone? Or will he try to contact me? Get revenge? How do you think the narcissist felt when I told him what I did? I feel scared and fear that something will happen to me, my child or a member of my family, so I need to prepare myself.
Thank you


I have not participated in this forum for some time though I still occasionally visit. I was once much more active under a different username. That being said ...

Posts such as these now amuse me. You come here, to an NPD forum at that, and tell us how abusive your ex is/was. You then go to explain about how you want him away from you and your child. Yet as he is writing you 'horrible' messages you just had to reply one more time. :roll:

In that one reply back to him you made sure to tell him that he was unlovable. You did this even in knowing he always felt neglected and abandoned.

Get the f@ck off here. People such as yourself want to make themselves out to be the victim as they INTENTIONALLY inflict pain upon another.

Are you really incapable of seeing that your behavior is just as much abusive as his?

You feel scared for you and your child? Yet instead of just leaving and blocking him you felt the need to provoke him.

You are playing a game.

You WANT him to contact you.

You want his attention.

You wanted to have the last word/power/control that is why you sent the message you did and then blocked him.

Feel better now?

You're welcome.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby ZeroZ » Sat Sep 21, 2019 6:25 pm

Lol well, I was trying to be nice but that pretty much sums it up to a T.
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Re: What to expect now? Will he finally leave me alone?

Postby AProphet » Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:03 pm

synchronicity wrote:
hurtforever wrote:Last night my ex was being verbally abusive as usual. I've had years of abuse and now he is abusing our child too, so I put a stop to it and I want him away from us! Anyway he started sending horrible messages and I decided to send him one last message before I blocked his number. He absolutely hates his dad, I think the reason why he has npd is because of his dad, horrible things happened during his childhood and now he is trying to be like his dad and doing what his dad did. Anyway I sent him a message saying that he was just a lost little boy, his dad never loved him and that no one can blame him as anyone would have left him (his dad left him when he was younger and even though they kept in touch he always felt neglected and abandoned as his dad was more interested in women), I also told him no one loves him. I then blocked him, just as he was writing another message.

So, I guess my question is, will he finally leave me and our child (who he never cared about and when he does it's to show off to other people) alone? Or will he try to contact me? Get revenge? How do you think the narcissist felt when I told him what I did? I feel scared and fear that something will happen to me, my child or a member of my family, so I need to prepare myself.
Thank you


I have not participated in this forum for some time though I still occasionally visit. I was once much more active under a different username. That being said ...

Posts such as these now amuse me. You come here, to an NPD forum at that, and tell us how abusive your ex is/was. You then go to explain about how you want him away from you and your child. Yet as he is writing you 'horrible' messages you just had to reply one more time. :roll:

In that one reply back to him you made sure to tell him that he was unlovable. You did this even in knowing he always felt neglected and abandoned.

Get the f@ck off here. People such as yourself want to make themselves out to be the victim as they INTENTIONALLY inflict pain upon another.

Are you really incapable of seeing that your behavior is just as much abusive as his?

You feel scared for you and your child? Yet instead of just leaving and blocking him you felt the need to provoke him.

You are playing a game.

You WANT him to contact you.

You want his attention.

You wanted to have the last word/power/control that is why you sent the message you did and then blocked him.

Feel better now?

You're welcome.


###$. You.
She has feelings and had to find release. If she was treated unfairly, putting up with the abuse and keeping it all inside becouse of her child, I can understand where she is coming from getting back at him. And you cant, so your response is not only insensitive but also irrelevant.
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