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Are either of these NPD?

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Are either of these NPD?

Postby CrimsonClover » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:25 am

I'd like to know if either of these descriptions are typical of a personality type, NPD or something else. Because both of them are VERY intelligent, I wondered about aspergers, but one of them (Nathan) took a test and scored nowhere close. Thanks.

Pete
- Has to be the smartest person at all times. Constantly pushes his point of view, retains information well so is able to back up his claims. Can't prove him wrong without evidence.
- Does well in social situations because he puts on an act - he is funny, charming, witty, loves attention - but at home with his wife, he is a miserable person. Doesn't smile, barely talks to her, is negative and depressed.
- Not warm/caring/empathetic but yet he hugs friends and family and it feels sincere.
- Not emotional, never cries.
- He does seem to know how he is / has self-awareness, and probably knows/understands the cause.

Nathan
- first point verbatim. He is also right about everything. However, I noticed he seems confident about something (ex. driving directions) but then gets confused (got lost). This does not happen with Pete.
- In social situations he is a complete bore. Goes on and on about things and has no sense of humor. Comes across uptight yet he claims he never lets stress get to him (I had the impression he was easily stressed, cause he never seems relaxed.)
- Not warm/caring/empathic and hugging him felt like hugging a statue, though he said he didn't mind hugs.
- Gets sentimental about things and cries at sad movies.
- Has absolutely no concept of how he comes across to others, has no self-awareness.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby xdude » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:28 pm

Hey CrimsonClover,

Approved your post for the NPD forum, though it arguably could have gone into another forum.

A harder question is why are you choosing men with possible NPD traits if it's not what you want your relationships to be like?
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby CrimsonClover » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:37 pm

Thank you. It probably could have gone in another forum, but I am wondering if one of those is narcissism. Both of these men were friends, not boyfriends. I have to be able to understand my friends in order to have a healthy relationship; I was somewhat able to understand Pete but Nathan was beyond my capabilities and frustrated me to no end.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby xdude » Fri Sep 06, 2019 1:36 am

We are not professionals here, so cannot diagnose them. You might get some guesses, but that's it.

They might just be normal guys too, different then you, but nothing else.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby CrimsonClover » Fri Sep 06, 2019 10:05 am

Well I have looked at some of the threads here, this is the place for discussing personality types and analyzing people, sure it'd be a little easier if I was talking about myself. Hoping to get more replies / opinions. If people in this forum don't know what a narcissist is, I don't know where else to go.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby flightrisk » Fri Sep 06, 2019 11:47 am

Actually this is a support forum for people with NPD, diagnosed or suspected. That, and NPD is a personality disorder. Not a personality type.

If you’re in a relationship and being affected by someone’s behavior, and you want to ask for input and advice, there’s a relationship forum for that.

If you’re just trying to better understand your friends “to have a healthy relationship” as you said, try talking to them and actually getting to know them.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby xdude » Fri Sep 06, 2019 1:34 pm

You can use the Significant Other Family and Friends forum, but yea again since we can't diagnose, all you'll get is some guesses.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby AProphet » Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:49 pm

CrimsonClover wrote:- Has absolutely no concept of how he comes across to others, has no self-awareness.


This would be a very strong criterium for NPD, not being able to relate/understand others in a meaningful way, but I am also very sceptical about how you came to understand that someone is that way? Not taking into account that his actions affect others, is that it?
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby CrimsonClover » Sun Sep 08, 2019 10:37 am

Thanks Prophet. I was emailing this friend weekly for over a year, and we got together in person every few months (the 4 of us, 2 couples). I repeatedly noticed his insensitivity in emails, his lack of ability to say please or thank you, then finally the friendship ended when I asked him about his insensitivity (in a nice way, I wasn't mean), and instead of answering me he went off on me, and said I was completely wrong about him. Like he's the expert in how he comes across to people - he has no way of knowing that! I told him how 4 different people perceived him and he said I was wrong.
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Re: Are either of these NPD?

Postby AProphet » Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:58 pm

CrimsonClover wrote:Thanks Prophet. I was emailing this friend weekly for over a year, and we got together in person every few months (the 4 of us, 2 couples). I repeatedly noticed his insensitivity in emails, his lack of ability to say please or thank you, then finally the friendship ended when I asked him about his insensitivity (in a nice way, I wasn't mean), and instead of answering me he went off on me, and said I was completely wrong about him. Like he's the expert in how he comes across to people - he has no way of knowing that! I told him how 4 different people perceived him and he said I was wrong.


The narcissist is infallible and perfect. There is no valid criticism. But he is also not self aware. Means incapable of understanding that he exists and his actions have consequences. You'll have to decide if he fits those criteria.
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