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cNPD and selective reclusivness, work etc.

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Re: cNPD and selective reclusivness, work etc.

Postby Cassandre » Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:57 pm

Just wanted to say: thanks for sharing. I want to try and answer thoughtfully but there is an internet outage in my building.
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Re: cNPD and selective reclusivness, work etc.

Postby KingPingX » Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:01 pm

Sometimes I want to be with people (having a good time and getting some attention time) sometimes I want to be alone - because people are complicated or not-interesting. Then I turn to other sources of interest. Question answered?
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Re: cNPD and selective reclusivness, work etc.

Postby covertunsure » Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:23 pm

I can definitely relate to this, although my craving for social interaction and validation (being admired or stared at in public) tend to outweigh the isolation.

I usually isolate because I feel I don't measure up and am not attractive or good enough for the world and feel worthless. This is almost always after a blow to my ego (and thus self-esteem) caused by not being admired by someone, or being rejected (or perceiving it), and a crack developing in the armor.

I'm often so scared to leave the house because of this paralyzing fear of not being seen as attractive by everyone and ignored by people.

This cycle is endless and like Groundhog Day, repeats itself every day, unaware of and not taking the past into account—in a vacuum. It's insanity. I read about the narcissist's unusual relationship with time...wanting to accomplish everything TODAY, yet not truly processing time in a normal way...endless time passing without actually doing anything. Another manifestation of grandiosity, I think.

Regarding vocational commitment, TOTALLY relate to this. But I was reading that it can be more of a BPD trait...endless projects started and not finished, not committing to anything, basically living like a child without wanting to "adult." This is soo me. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and yet go out to eat almost every day and generally have a lifestyle I can't afford. I don't "adult" as in paying bills on time and defaulted on many credit cards and got sued by multiple banks when I was younger. I ignore my "real self" and responsibilities in favor of living in the moment and having my self-esteem boosted by gaining admiration/narcissistic supply throughout the day.

I wish I weren't this way, it's torture...but I don't think there's much hope of changing it.
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Re: cNPD and selective reclusivness, work etc.

Postby xdude » Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:26 pm

KingPingX wrote:Sometimes I want to be with people (having a good time and getting some attention time) sometimes I want to be alone


Question man, isn't this the summary of NPD and other cluster B types.

Sometimes we want the affirmation, but also it reminds us people care because of what you do for them, and so want to be alone?

I am not judging you, just think this is what it's all about.
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Re: cNPD and selective reclusivness, work etc.

Postby KingPingX » Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:55 pm

xdude wrote:
KingPingX wrote:Sometimes I want to be with people (having a good time and getting some attention time) sometimes I want to be alone


Question man, isn't this the summary of NPD and other cluster B types.

Sometimes we want the affirmation, but also it reminds us people care because of what you do for them, and so want to be alone?

I am not judging you, just think this is what it's all about.


Well, thats probably why I said it. Thats just the way it is. I have been on this forum for some years now - in the beginning I tried to explain more. But nowadays for me most wuestions here seem to be repetetive and or trivial. Thats why my snswers are shorter now. If people want to get more insight they can ask me. Maybe its laziness, too. But mostly the answers are obvious to me so I try to give a short opinion.
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