Our partner

Let’s vent

Narcissistic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: realityhere

Let’s vent

Postby ZeroZ » Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:40 am

I’d like to start a thread to just vent your frustrations, let it out it’s not healthy to hold it in like a time bomb waiting to explode.

I saw two pretty senseless accidents on the road this week one involving a motorcycle, all because people are totally stupid, and without any common sense whatsoever.
ZeroZ
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Thu May 09, 2019 4:03 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:32 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Let’s vent

Postby AProphet » Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:31 am

Im frustrated that I got love only once in my life, and only becouse I had to hurt myself and the girl as much as I could. That I had love only once in 29 years of life and there was never a chance. And that Im lonely here playing Xcom2 and stoning when I was the perfect one for her. But that would be not surprisng enough to God. If we just had our perfect love. That out of all the possible realities of everything you can imagine being just as real as this, Im in the one reality where I have noone to open my mouth to.
AProphet
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 239
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:02 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:32 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby RuckHuckabee » Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:02 pm

Diagnosed with NPD by my last psychologist. Frustrated at my inability to form connections with other people, particularly women. I have countless experiences where a potential relationship dissolved for no reason. Some lasted months, others days. What the f*ck.
RuckHuckabee
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:32 am
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 6:32 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby xdude » Thu Aug 22, 2019 1:13 pm

RuckHuckabee wrote:Diagnosed with NPD by my last psychologist. Frustrated at my inability to form connections with other people, particularly women. I have countless experiences where a potential relationship dissolved for no reason. Some lasted months, others days. What the f*ck.


There is nobody who is perfect. All we can do is reflect on what went wrong, ponder, maybe learn something. It's also on us to leave openings so others feel safe to do so, and sometimes we cannot because we are not ready.

They may have left hints or said it, what was wrong too and you weren't yet ready to hear it.

They aren't perfect either, but maybe you are being overly hard on yourself? Still if there was something they said, what went wrong, could be something to work on going forward.
We do NOT delete posts

Read the forum rules before posting here. If you are having any doubts about what you are posting, if you are thinking in the back of your mind, "I am going to want to delete this, or these details, later", remove those details, or step back and don't post until you are sure.
xdude
Site Admin
 
Posts: 8446
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:41 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:32 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby AProphet » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:01 pm

xdude wrote:
There is nobody who is perfect. All we can do is reflect on what went wrong, ponder, maybe learn something.



Thats the problem about NPD. You have no ability to self reflect. Like in the quote aku' posted.

... Again, for many patients characterologically, and for all patients in some areas of their
personality, the development of self-reflection must precede any attempt
at investigating conflict
. In the areas where development has
been thwarted, the analyst attempts to help a patient change what is
classically called ego syntonic to what is classically called ego alien.
Thus the enacted ways of being are no longer "who I am" but are gradually
replaced by the cognitive perspective of "what I do." As this
change takes place, a person is more able to hold, reflect on, and potentially
resolve disjunctive self-experiences as states of conflict without
the effort's being automatically short-circuited by dissociative processes
designed to protect self-continuity.
AProphet
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 239
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:02 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:32 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby xdude » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:21 pm

AProphet wrote:
xdude wrote:
There is nobody who is perfect. All we can do is reflect on what went wrong, ponder, maybe learn something.



Thats the problem about NPD. You have no ability to self reflect. Like in the quote aku' posted.


I think we learned to be hyper-critical. It's not even such a bad trait, but it can be abused.

Okay I may be completely wrong, but when someone learns to feel guilty for everything that upsets others, there are basically two choices. Buy in, or fight back.

I am not saying I am right, just reflecting. Some say cNPD is based on shame, shame can be abused too.

If I got it all wrong then I did, and willing to listen.
We do NOT delete posts

Read the forum rules before posting here. If you are having any doubts about what you are posting, if you are thinking in the back of your mind, "I am going to want to delete this, or these details, later", remove those details, or step back and don't post until you are sure.
xdude
Site Admin
 
Posts: 8446
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:41 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:32 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby AProphet » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:55 pm

xdude wrote:
I think we learned to be hyper-critical. It's not even such a bad trait, but it can be abused.

Okay I may be completely wrong, but when someone learns to feel guilty for everything that upsets others, there are basically two choices. Buy in, or fight back.

I am not saying I am right, just reflecting. Some say cNPD is based on shame, shame can be abused too.

If I got it all wrong then I did, and willing to listen.



Nobody can say for certain who is right. I am talking from experience, and the downside of that is that its subjective. What you call shame I would call self-denial, not accepting your strenghts and weaknesses, gravitating towards an ideal image, ideal self. Becouse the feeling in the strictest sence, shame, I didnt have that, before I cured myself. And thats how they describe the narcissistic personality. Shameless.
AProphet
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 239
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:02 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:32 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby realityhere » Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:17 pm

What I see is: Shame results in self-denial.

Shame in early childhood results in self-denial of one's true strengths/weaknesses and an ideal, but false, construct takes the place of the child's true personality. Ppl with cluster b disorders started out as children trying to please a demanding, self-centered parent, and it was never enough as the dysfunctional parent kept moving the goal-posts.
We don't delete posts, so think twice before clicking "submit".
realityhere
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 2531
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:31 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 7:32 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby AProphet » Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:05 pm

But I had to learn shame. Feeling ashamed. I didnt have shame. I could never do the things I did If I had shame. I dont the answer to this.

But what you wrote I agree almost completely. The requirement to be someone else, white rabbit chase, moving the goalposts, It influences your identity immensly. Becouse the need to be loved and accepted is so fundamental, its survival, must be met at any cost, thats why we fragment (reject, disociate) the aspects of ourselves that the parent didnt accept. We construct the false, confabulated, artifical personality to meet our most fundamental need.
AProphet
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 239
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:02 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:32 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Let’s vent

Postby realityhere » Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:31 pm

The shame results from the parent's criticism that you're not enough, not satisfying his/her needs. When the parent has the responsibility of meeting a child's physical/emotional needs, the dysfunctional parent doesn't do that-- he/she expects the child to meet his/her needs instead. When the child fails to meet those needs, the child feels shame or guilt. The feeling may not even be remembered at age 2, 3, or 4 but it causes the child to hide it by masking it with an ideal but false image of himself. That ideal self-image could very well be a dissociation or say, a disavowal, of the child's true personality?
We don't delete posts, so think twice before clicking "submit".
realityhere
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 2531
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:31 pm
Local time: Thu Nov 14, 2019 7:32 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Narcissistic Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: AProphet and 33 guests