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Decent into madness

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Decent into madness

Postby ZeroZ » Sun Jun 02, 2019 4:19 pm

****TRIGGER WARNING****

Ok, with that little warning out of the way, one constant I’ve noticed lately on this forum is either an event or something that triggers a type of self awareness and what follows is almost a decent into madness.

This got me thinking, say you go through a lifetime of being partially delusional which is inherent with NPD denial of your true self, of the very feelings that make you human, the same feelings the provide a release from stress for most people, a coping mechanism. Going through life into you middle age years to suddenly realize all of this, I can imagine how this could overwhelm someone and cause a complete mental breakdown. My question is realistically speaking what are the odds of ever recovering from something like this, is it even healthy, is it inevitable, like someone who holds in a terrible secret until it has to come out.
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Re: Decent into madness

Postby GadSitar » Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:14 am

I can only speak for myself. This experience you speak of is deeply troubling. I have no idea if there is any way to recover from it. I do know that things will never be the same. I feel as though there was such intense unbearable pain that my body is literally exhausted. I also feel like I don't function as well as I used to although now I workout in the gym regularly. Something inside of me changed. Like someone that has been burned out for far too long. There is no more to give.
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Re: Decent into madness

Postby Akuma » Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:42 am

ZeroZ wrote:This got me thinking, say you go through a lifetime of being partially delusional which is inherent with NPD denial of your true self, of the very feelings that make you human, the same feelings the provide a release from stress for most people, a coping mechanism. Going through life into you middle age years to suddenly realize all of this, I can imagine how this could overwhelm someone and cause a complete mental breakdown. My question is realistically speaking what are the odds of ever recovering from something like this, is it even healthy, is it inevitable, like someone who holds in a terrible secret until it has to come out.


From my perspective this scenario is extremely unlikely. You describe a very controlled person, who has for forty years or so unconsciously defended against unconscious stuff leading among other things to an absence of emotionality (and possibly impulsivity). That such a person would suddenly be flooded by emotions makes no sense, because even if he would suddenly for whatever unexpected reason develop some sort of midlife-crisis, he would look at that with exactly the same emotional baseline.
Take me as an example. I've actually been a rather emotional person; I think my emotions always were more pronounced than other peoples. But there was a piling up of negative stuff that was so hard to bear that ultimately I (or the system, or both) decided that its time to actually shut this off - something that I had longed for as a kid already, being always confronted with my emotions not being welcomed. So this mechanism is defending against all that stuff from the past and also lots of stuff from the present; by itself, theres no necessity nor motivation at all to do something about this - plus the absence of emotions is not equal to for example leading an empty life, which in my view is way more problematic.
The only logical reason for such a mechanism to go own is either if you take chemicals that disturb the brain in such an enormous way that it ###$ up that protective system, or if you try to forcefully trigger you - which mostly wouldnt really work mind you. So imo the most likely situation in which theoretically such a flooding could occur would be the therapeutic setting. Now even if such an occurence would have detrimental effect depends on the individual. Clinical staff and psychotherapist(s) will be wary of this though - my therapist has told me this a few times already that we have to be careful that I dont get flooded, which is one of the reasons this type of therapy is usually very slow.
As a sidenote I dont think the descriptions that have been posted here lately are even about the same group of experiences, so personally I see no constant.
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Re: Decent into madness

Postby ZeroZ » Mon Jun 03, 2019 1:00 pm

Akuma wrote:
ZeroZ wrote:This got me thinking, say you go through a lifetime of being partially delusional which is inherent with NPD denial of your true self, of the very feelings that make you human, the same feelings the provide a release from stress for most people, a coping mechanism. Going through life into you middle age years to suddenly realize all of this, I can imagine how this could overwhelm someone and cause a complete mental breakdown. My question is realistically speaking what are the odds of ever recovering from something like this, is it even healthy, is it inevitable, like someone who holds in a terrible secret until it has to come out.


From my perspective this scenario is extremely unlikely. You describe a very controlled person, who has for forty years or so unconsciously defended against unconscious stuff leading among other things to an absence of emotionality (and possibly impulsivity). That such a person would suddenly be flooded by emotions makes no sense, because even if he would suddenly for whatever unexpected reason develop some sort of midlife-crisis, he would look at that with exactly the same emotional baseline.
Take me as an example. I've actually been a rather emotional person; I think my emotions always were more pronounced than other peoples. But there was a piling up of negative stuff that was so hard to bear that ultimately I (or the system, or both) decided that its time to actually shut this off - something that I had longed for as a kid already, being always confronted with my emotions not being welcomed. So this mechanism is defending against all that stuff from the past and also lots of stuff from the present; by itself, theres no necessity nor motivation at all to do something about this - plus the absence of emotions is not equal to for example leading an empty life, which in my view is way more problematic.
The only logical reason for such a mechanism to go own is either if you take chemicals that disturb the brain in such an enormous way that it ###$ up that protective system, or if you try to forcefully trigger you - which mostly wouldnt really work mind you. So imo the most likely situation in which theoretically such a flooding could occur would be the therapeutic setting. Now even if such an occurence would have detrimental effect depends on the individual. Clinical staff and psychotherapist(s) will be wary of this though - my therapist has told me this a few times already that we have to be careful that I dont get flooded, which is one of the reasons this type of therapy is usually very slow.
As a sidenote I dont think the descriptions that have been posted here lately are even about the same group of experiences, so personally I see no constant.


This specific scenario is more in regards to other posters on the NPD forum and something I read in a book. For instance a therapist wrote that a husband brought his wife into therapy why was screaching and making a huge scene when he tried to communicate with her she was completely unresponsive, so he just held her hand while she yelled and screened for 15-20 minutes and once that was over she regained her composure and was able to talk. So the psychologist writing the book believes that this woman who he diagnosed with NPD was overwhelmed with feelings that were being blocked and denied until she went into what from the outside looked like a psychotic state but wasn’t. It sounded extremely similar to the posts Aprophet and others have posted recently
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Re: Decent into madness

Postby AProphet » Mon Jun 03, 2019 1:08 pm

Intense negative emotions can make you catatonic.
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Re: Decent into madness

Postby Akuma » Mon Jun 03, 2019 2:16 pm

ZeroZ wrote:This specific scenario is more in regards to other posters on the NPD forum and something I read in a book. For instance a therapist wrote that a husband brought his wife into therapy why was screaching and making a huge scene when he tried to communicate with her she was completely unresponsive, so he just held her hand while she yelled and screened for 15-20 minutes and once that was over she regained her composure and was able to talk. So the psychologist writing the book believes that this woman who he diagnosed with NPD was overwhelmed with feelings that were being blocked and denied until she went into what from the outside looked like a psychotic state but wasn’t. It sounded extremely similar to the posts Aprophet and others have posted recently


Lowens book I take it?
As I said in another thread, my therapist for example is pretty much against those just-let-it-out approaches, in his experience they can harm the patient [read any patient here, not necessarily PD]. I dunno if they are actually used in clinical settings at all, either or if theres a useful evidence base for them.
As to the other posters, as I said I see them as different experiences.
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