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Best therapy for narcissism

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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby flightrisk » Tue Aug 13, 2019 12:31 am

I didn't find therapy helpful, to be honest. I kept my therapist at arms length, although I could fill a session with entertaining nonsense, and when he pushed me I vanished.
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby Greebo » Tue Aug 13, 2019 7:14 am

Never encountered therapies for personality issues however my main sticking points with psychologists/psychiatrists have been (from most common to least common).
  • Being treated and an interesting specimen and spending all the time talking about my neurological/sensory oddities.
  • MHPs failing to commit to an opinion, so there’s a lot of ‘hmmm’, ‘interesting’, ‘it’s complicated...’, ‘it’s difficult...’ etc.
  • Getting overly hung up on the clobbering I took in my early teens.

I dunno if it’s a problem or I should just be greatful that I’ve got on with the MHPs I’ve encountered (post porph obviously) but there is almost always a degree of role blurring/reversal the longer I see a certain therapist. We spend more and more time discussing their issues, and it seems like all sessions increasingly tend towards heart to heart coffee shop style conversations. Every few months they’ll realise that we aren’t really doing anything, or I’ll given them a prod in the direction of therapy but it degerates back in less than half a session. It’s nice enough I guess but it’s never felt either challenging or productive. Consequently most of my experience of therapists has been as people to have a nice chat with and bounce ideas off of.

ZeroZ wrote:I’ve been having recurring fantasies about confronting and killing a mass shooter in an exchange of gun fire, sometimes I live to become a sort of hero, sometimes I die and become a bigger hero. Should I tell my T? I can’t afford time off for a hospital stay. I feel like she will make a big deal out of this or something


Unless you’re actively planning to track down a mass shooter to have your own O.K. Corral moment, I recon you’d be fine with that one.
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby Akuma » Tue Aug 13, 2019 7:28 am

Curiously my main complaint about therapy atm would be [apart from the usual its not working, were not getting anywhere], thats its not an authentic relationship. Aside from the complications that treating a dissociative person with no emotional perception brings, I don't think I really get how I am supposed to relate to a person who ultimately only works with me because I'm a job, or where I have a limited amount of time. It seems useless and fake. Then again my mood is horrible these days anyways, I'm having 2 migraines a week, I'm suicidal, I feel generally depressed and horrible so probably my perception is not accurate. But when the main aim of therapy is basically to make you more aware of how $#%^ your life is with a person you can't do anything with except for making appointments, then I'm not sure how long I'm still going to continue with that crap.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby ZeroZ » Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:27 am

Honestly for me anyway therapy is only been useful as sort of a tracking beacon, think about what I was going on about last session and how much is going on now. There is an accountability factor too it, not pointed out by the T but something I realize myself by thinking about last session and how much has actually changed about my priorities in such a short time. I don’t know exactly what to do with this information but it’s certainly a level of insight I did not have before, so that has to be a positive.

With that said my best coping mechanisms in the past, training in the gym, my dog, dating have all fallen into that background and are practically non-existent, mainly through a lack of interest in everything on planet earth,

I also feel like obsessing about things in my life was making me more sick, instead of just using therapy as a tool and not letting it consume too much of my thoughts. Maybe there is an element of that going on with you Akuma? Reading too much and thinking too much about the situation instead of thinking about other things that could improve your quality of life?
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby xdude » Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:54 am

Akuma wrote:I don't think I really get how I am supposed to relate to a person who ultimately only works with me because I'm a job, or where I have a limited amount of time. It seems useless and fake.


I have the same issue, and it's related to why therapy hasn't worked for me yet. I can't stop being aware, I am paying this person by the minute, and it can also be a step backwards. Thanks, I love being reminded I am a job, which goes back to the original issues.

I think with other doctors, I expect an outcome, and they strive for an outcome, so I am okay with it, but therapy remains a mess. I've tried, and trying again, but yea, understood why it can seem useless for people with cluster B thinking. About the only thing that has been helpful is your job is to be a sounding board, and now I am going to spew. Spew sometimes is at least a release.
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby realityhere » Tue Aug 13, 2019 6:16 pm

" About the only thing that has been helpful is your job is to be a sounding board, and now I am going to spew. Spew sometimes is at least a release."

Sometimes spewing is the difficult part for some ppl.
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby xdude » Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:29 am

realityhere wrote:Sometimes spewing is the difficult part for some ppl.


Nod. I have heard that before too, some people won't even talk much in therapy without a lot of prompting. I guess the problem for me is I still end up quitting when I reach that point of now of brought up those old memories again, but now what? Intellectual understanding only takes it so far.

I do get though why some people conclude it isn't help (or at least not helping now, maybe at some point later it could).
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby Cholls » Sun Aug 25, 2019 6:21 pm

ZeroZ wrote:I had the weirdest experience in therapy last time I went. We were discussing an ex I dated who occasionally pops back into the picture and I was going on talking about how things ended last time and the therapist said something like “and that’s when you get nasty “ it was very unexpected and out of context and caught me completely off guard, BUT the weird part is I must have heard her say it and understood the meaning but it didn’t compute in my head for a good second or two, at which point she was no longer talking and just looking at me. Like I initially chose not to hear that, I’m not sure if that’s some sort of dissociation as I’ve had different forms of that before but this is the first time I’ve ever noticed anything like this.

Relative to your previous experiences with dissociation, do you sense that this initial choice not to hear was a mild form of dissociation?

I've had at least one notable experience like your "didn't compute in my head for a good second or two", and am convinced that, at such times, we've hit the kind of paydirt which is required to fathom the roots of mental illness.
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Re: Best therapy for narcissism

Postby ZeroZ » Sun Aug 25, 2019 8:49 pm

Cholls wrote:Relative to your previous experiences with dissociation, do you sense that this initial choice not to hear was a mild form of dissociation?

I've had at least one notable experience like your "didn't compute in my head for a good second or two", and am convinced that, at such times, we've hit the kind of paydirt which is required to fathom the roots of mental illness.


It was a bit different than the other times, in that I was aware I was dissociating then, this time I wasn’t. If this happens on a regular basis and I’m not aware of it, it’s abit disturbing

Edit; thinking, it is entirely possible this happens more than I realize. I’ve had people come up to me saying they were yelling my name and waving their arms trying to get my attention and I was completely oblivious, like they weren’t even there.
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